As I sit here and add these entries, presences move around me. Forms of light catch my vision at the corner of my eye. To my left and to my right. But, they are ignorant to my telepathic request for identities and intentions. I gain only momentary pressure in my right ear; a faint touch on my right shoulder. They are deliberate and clinical in their arrival, knowing I sense them there. Knowing it frustrates me further. My skills at mediation fail me. I reach out with my consciousness, shifting and changing the dial on my frequency but to no avail.
Was my 'mediumship' false therefore? Did I truly reach out and receive those wonders from those who had left this plane? Or had it been passed down to me from a higher plane? How then can I change this checkmate scenario?Maybe it isn't time? Maybe there are changes afoot. My professional consultations are now a thing of the past. I merely recall it how it once was. Expectant faces before me ... confidentally I would speak and bring forth into the world 'total undenial proof' ... bluntly and to the point. Some would say clinically. Giving undenial and absolute proof. Making connections. Putting minds at rest. Solving murders. Receiving reasons for suicides. Actual causes of death. Physical conditions which were not my own but belonged to the deceased who came in close and lent to me their condition. So I could describe a heart attack or a cancerous throat. I even developed the deceased person's voice or the colour of their eyes. Or the way they would sit. Or the exact words they would have used would come out of my mouth without my control reducing my client to tears.
Many, many years of the art and I suppose I became complacent. I took it for granted it was the road I was meant to trek. But now ... there is only a silent phone. My runes and my tarot are packed away. My mediation and mediumship deserts me.
I sit and I experience the presences around me. I am clueless to the next trek. Maybe there will be nothing now. Maybe the fourth density experiment is over. The gifts have left me. But ... then, my 'handlers' or my 'controllers' are still around me. Dictating what I should think or I should say. Adopting the trauma punishment process again with the night attack and the restraint of my thoughts ... I have been depressed and not myself today. I have been taciturn and moody and aggressive. I've been weary. I've been so unlike my recent self.
I sense now the backing off. They are now fading to the periphery. No doubt aware it is time for illusory sleep. (A movement from my left then and a shadow across my face and a feeling of coldness - letting me know they are still there). Once I lay down to sleep, they will sense my dropping down into alpha state once more ... and no doubt activate the sciatic nerve to ache or make me itch ...
But I will prevail. I will be patient. I will attain sleep and projection. For several nights now at some point in 'the night' I've met up with my Father and we've shared travels to distant lands (worlds). We've explored places together like we once had explored mountain peaks and ridges. I anticipate we shall again. Soon. It spurs me on.
I remain fearless despite the fresh marks on my left hand and the suppression of my emotions today. Fear is the key. It is the conduit which the fourth density is dependant upon to make a connection with the third density. Give them unconditional love I say! That will send the almond faced hijackers scurrying. It will keep the reptilean bastards at bay!
