The Storm Has PassedThe storm finally appears to have abated. Last weekend's events are at becoming a fading memory. The laptop is albeit back to normal. Hours of reloading data and programs has finally come to a close. But, the laptop has an irritating habit it didn't have before. It crashes and closes me out on Internet Explorer without warning. I am however patient with it; I use the 'save as draft' button and I merely smile at the laptop's screen when it locks me out! I know if I took it back and reported the habit, I would be told to restore everything again. That would mean yet still more hours of reloading everything again. No way! I will grin and bear it.
Me And My New Shadow
Much like the shadow which has attached itself to me over the last few days. Wherever I may be ... I cannot fail to notice the shadow entity over my shoulder, following me. Sticking to me like glue. A handler? A potential rider? A deceased friend or relation? I cannot tell ... communication interplay has not occurred. No contact at all has been received from the shadow. Mind you, I've not really tried. I've just taken note that some new phenomenon is taking place. I have noted too that all attempts at distraction have virtually ceased recently; my handlers seem to have backed off and left me to it. No disruption beams in meditations.
Intensive Projections
No interruptions ... but my dreams are more intense than usual. I say 'dreams'; they are not dreams. I never dream. Dreams I recall are always in black and white for me anyway. My 'dreams' are seriously more like 'projections' or 'existing on other frequencies'. They are as intense and as sensory as the waking hours in this virtual world. I have the sense of touch and smell and taste and hearing to a very finite degree. The experiences are as profound and as memorable as anything on this plane of existence. More so. As I very rarely have the distraction of a physical body complete with its ailments and its shortcomings. Everything is literally mind imagery and it is intense. It commences the moment I close my eyes and I settle down into Delta state (recent experiments with Theta Waves prior to bedtime mean I'm already on the boundary of delta anyway) and I find myself with 'dream control' in another dimension. I've always had this ability. For decades I've been able to drift into another dimension at any point of the night (or day). Moments after closing my eyes I'm gone from this plane and somewhere else entirely. But, over the last few months, it seems to have lessened in intensity due to a stressful outside world. So for it to return in recent weeks is a godsend. For the experimentations to increase the intensity is all the more reason to be cheerful. Perhaps my handlers have given me space so I can 'play' with the most recent genetic modifications which have been made to my DNA & RNA? I can only presume, as they've never actually told me what it is they do with me. They send 'suggestions' via visual facsimiles. However there have been no visual facsimiles of any description recently. They apparently have left me in peace ... but such is the way with these matters, they may well be overhearing my consciousness as it slips its cognitive processes into gear. Everything could change again this week, as it often does. Such is they way which has become my life. Perhaps one day I will chance upon a dimension during my projections where it will all be explained to me (it has before but I always forget) and this time I will retain full awareness of it.
Pay Attention To My Shadow?
In the meantime I may well turn my attention to my newly acquired shadow and investigate its consciousness. It is likely, I feel, to be someone I once knew ... after all I did hear 'I'm not dead you know' spoken in my ear a few days back ... there are a number of likely candidates. The telepathic impetus appears to be towards me 'getting back into' the mediumship and the readings and all that new age hoohah .... there are urges within me to start it back up again. I still toy with my tarot cards and I still wander down memory lane. After 25 years of professional readings it is not easy to forget about it! It feels like I've had a limb amputated in truth, though I've never been comfortable over the last 4 or so years reading here in New Zealand. I've always been on edge and not at my best in my opinion. Prior to that back in the Old Country (the UK) I was within my comfort zone. At my profound and blunt best. A standard I must admit I miss on the quiet.
A New Path Perhaps (Or The Return To An Old One)?
Perhaps it will return. Perhaps this is the cognitive process I am meant to compute. Perhaps why my handlers are in skulking in the wings. They cannot after all force freewill to do something it doesnt want to do? But do I believe that 'new age' myth? Is it true? After all those enigmatic forces due abduct and misuse folk against their will ... how do I know it is freewill which is governing my thinking at the moment? How do I know these are my own thoughts? It is so easy for the intelligences to slot in thought patterns which deceive and confuse. Thought patterns which are not a mortal's own ... very easy. They can track thoughts; they can change thoughts; they can influence thoughts and they can implant thoughts. But ... is this the case? I've appeared to wander off my current path onto a new path with my thinking. But then ... is this the return of an old path? One I once associated with? There has been so much thinking and reasoning since; so much trauma and so much change in the last five years; I've perhaps forgotten how I used to think?
A New Outlook On Life & On The Occult
I know I think differently now to how I used to think. I've lost the rose tinted glasses and lost the romance I had with the occult. I see things more as they really are. I can see beyond the myth and learn more of the truth ... but its only the truth in accordance with my own reality. It may not suit the reality of someone else. I digest the information presented by the main frame server of this virtual reality via my DNA like everyone else. But my RNA processes this information differently. So much differently than I did before. I make sense of this virtual reality more so than ever before. And it has changed the way I interact with folk and how I witness the three dimensional world around me. Because of this I lost the interest in mediumship. I saw it all as a sham and a falsehood. I reckoned I was merely seeing behind the scenes and relating that information to folk. But was I actually communicating with loved ones and deceased consciousnesses? Yes ... I believe I was but not in the way it had been assumed a decade ago. The spirit world is not that which I perceived or others perceived. It is merely another level in this virtual universe. It is the realms I project to when I am supposedly 'sleeping'. I know that now ... and it is because of this revelation I endeavour to resume my mediumship. There appears to be a great need for communication between the levels. More so than ever before ... to get the 'truth' across and begin influencing the main frame server's basic programming which provides the basic 'history' to this dimension for all intelligences linked to this virtual realm. That must be changed as it has become corrupted. This is one of the reasons for my 'incarnation' and a reason for the benevolence of the handlers who work with me.
Future Storms?
My reality no longer permits me the fear of my malevolent handlers. They no longer scare me. But it does not mean they no longer intrude on my reality. Because I was made to 'create' them at an early age means I gave them the energy to exist in my reality. Until I find a way of transforming that energy they will always be a influence in my reality. They are always likely to create another storm in my life which means more rage attacks and more frustration. My focus, as always, is to find the ways and the means to overcome them.