That came out of the blue. Like it always did. Something out of nothing and I'm fired up with rage. It almost caught me out. I was on the outer fringes of another 'relapse'. I always fail ... always get pulled into this chaotic part of the programming. Without warning; during the growing frustrations of the last post format not going as planned it built. Obsenities escaped my lips. The early stages of loss of control. Then. The realisation. Now it has passed. There was no relapse. No 'dead zone'. NO aftermath. No guilt brought on by failure. No fear feeding to invisible handlers. I should have been prepared by the old man warning me last night in altered state to 'slow down'. He was warning me there was an imminent attack ahead on the road I'm wandering. Fortunately the obscenities were all that were evoked.
I'm left now with the perplexity of another attack unleashed on me by some unseen technology. By something aware of my renewed workings with sound frequencies; with my intention to lift beyond the tampering once and for all.
Kristine said something odd to me tonight. Out of the blue. This was after our spontaneous 'communication' with a stranger. We were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - The Classics'. I suddenly broke into song with 'my old man said follow the van, but don't dilly dally along the way'.
Kristine, who was sitting beside me to my left, turned suddenly with a look of total surprise on her face, 'what made you sing that then?'
'Dunno. I just did.' I replied.
'I was just humming that at the exact moment you started singing it. I assumed you'd heard me?'
'No I didn't.'
It was odd, but then odd is our relationship at times with telepathic synchronicity. Kristine then, later, told me I once lived in France and was known as 'Jean Pierre'. I was a little surprised by the information at this time; but not purturbed as I already knew. Had known about 'Jean Pierre Anton Dubois' for a while. He was a writer of sorts; So am I. He was controversial. Like I am in the 'modern day'. I related to her then all I knew about him. Also about the dream attack last night and all I've recently unearthed about mind control.
'1977.' Kristine said suddenly.
'What about 1977?'
'That was when it happened to you. Around the time of a wedding.'
'I would have been 12. My brother's wedding. I had bad things happen to me then which I know are significant. But can't remember. I can remember before and after. But not 12.'
It was out of ordinary for current days. We've not discussed spiritual matters for a while. But it links perfectly with the Old Man's warning last night. So I should have been on my toes regarding another attack. Something triggered me. Something but what? It is always something insignificant that gets me going. Something insignificant leads me to flying off the handle. Not for a while. But it started when I WAS 12. Before then I was placcid and 'spiritual'. After 12 I've always had a short fuse!
But tonight. I actually stopped myself. I'm calm again. I've theta waves in the background. I'mleft now with curiosity. I need to know who the old man was. He may hold the answer and the key to moving out of the circle I'm in. I may be able to step out of the anvil; and progress through life as it was written prior to an incident in 1977.