It’s too much to expect of me a full dialogue of the ‘how’, the ‘why’ and the ‘when’. All I will say with this respect is that it started. One day I was still very much asleep, then the next I woke. I say ‘woke’ … this is a misleading statement in truth. My awakening was a gradual process; a painful process. Most of it spent blissfully unaware of the processes involved in my transition. That was back in 1987 … a long time ago in truth. Prior to that date, what I used and what I had was ‘instinctive’ and ‘intuitive’ … magick on automatic pilot … I merely assumed that everyone could do what I could and think like I did. It was only post-1987 when it all became pigeon-holed that I realised not everyone thought like I did or would view the world the same as I did.
Post-1987 magick thus became very difficult to control … but in principle it was so simple to comprehend. So simplistic that the practical application of it was transformed into the extremely difficult … as the magick relies on self belief … with self belief the gearbox … the more the disbelief or the doubt or the greater the influence of the Inner Critic; the harder it is to shift the gears. Post-1987 was when I descended into the world of The New Age … and its saturation by ‘self professed’ teachers and experts in the magick world. The more I wandered those shores … the more and more I was told I was not experienced enough to practice magick … that I required many years in order to perfect ‘their’ form of magical application. My disbelief was greater than my belief at that point; thus 1st gear was very much the great dictator in my magickal life.
It was not long after … in terms of the universal consciousness that is, but not in terms of personal experience, with regard to the latter it was after times of real turmoil but that’s another story … that I chose to go it alone and develop my own style without any input from the interfering self acclaimed fraternity. And basically … I’ve been developing my own brand of magick ever since. At times I’m able to coast happily over hill and vale in 3rd or even 4th gear … but mostly its 2nd gear with occasional 3rd. There are relapses in my own self-belief … times when the Inner Critic overloads me with its internal paternal instinct.
My own form of magick ‘is’ … basically it ‘is’ … and it will always be as it ‘is’. As long as I endure this manifest plane my magick will be as it is. The manifest plane is as much the magick as I am. Both are the same. The ‘I’ which I behold through my eyes is made of the same thoughts as the world I witness around me. Mind energy … thought forms … all magick. That is a simple truth. The real ‘is’ of the magick is the ability to change the world around me by internal processes. By the ability of reaching beyond the levels which are the manifest plane … the physical reality around me and the cognitive processes which are responsible for my interaction with the physical reality around me. The magick is reaching behind those reactive processes … to where the blue print thoughts exist … to effectively change the ‘active processes’ which govern how the world around me appears to be through the eyes and experienced by all of the five manifest plane senses.
Magick is the means to reach those active processes and rewrite that programming. The ways to change the order of things which are set to appear in the production line from the present to the future …. It is also the ways and the means to ensure that self belief is maintained throughout it all … that the influences of external entities such as fellow ‘manifest’ beings do not disrupt the blueprint pattern set by I … that which is written into the blueprint by the spirit of yours truly prior to manifestation in this physical plane. That is the most difficult process of magick in truth. There is a real influence here on the manifest plane which is intent on controlling how the manifested thought forms think and react … it is intent on gaining dominance over all the manifestations here … this influence is known traditionally as the dark side or the devil or as an evil force. However in truth it is none of those things … it is in fact the opposing polarity or shadow side to all of the manifestations on this manifest plane. There is no evil. There is no white or black; left or right; wrong or right.
There is only harmony. Balance. One. The manifest plane is comprised of opposites and reflections. It exists because the one is out of sync … one split into two and that division still remains. These two opposites have many such sub-divisions … but in truth there are only two divisions. One division the perfect harmony of the other. The two if they were combined would effectively end the very thought which brought into being the manifest plane … the primal spark of ‘creation’ … effectively that is the simplistic nature of it all. The Law of Karma … of cause and effect is so very true … it is the manifest plane comprehension of this division and the automatic polarising effect which comes into effect … like a magnet in simple terms … when all viewpoints and variances whatever they are … however complex it all might seem … if all of these differences were to be mended … all opposites made the same … there would be no more manifest plane … it would no longer exist … that causal difference would be solved.
Add -1 to +1 and see the resultant effect … 0 is nothing or the sum total of the two parts. Therefore resolved. But then what must the energy which comprises the -1 and the +1 … what will it become when they are transformed to the 0 … energy cannot be destroyed … it merely exists in another form. Therefore when the two divisions harmonise and combine that is not the end … that combination may effect the ‘end’ of the manifest plane … but all the energy contained within this manifest plane … all the thoughts which create all that is within that reality … including you and I and everything … will automatically become part of another energy … it becomes part of another vibration or dimension … because even nothing has a frequency … an existence … it is just a different vibration to that of something …
Effectively then … magick as all that is … and its principle intention is to harmonise … or change the polarity of opposing forces. To influence something, anything … it is essential to comprehend the OPPOSITE to that something you wish to change. It is essential to anticipate that which will result as a consequence of that shift in polarity. That is the background to magick and it is as simple as that. To make magick work … the simple law of cause and effect must be respected. Any magickal spell WILL work … but to ensure the consequence is that which you desire … it is essential to comprehend the opposite will or the reflection of that which you want to happen. You must be aware of the opposite effect to your magickal outcome …
Every single thought effects a contrasting or reactive process.
But hey … that’s gone deep, complex … and very theoretical. It is a sunny afternoon and my brain has become a little too lumbered with manifest plane issues … it’s the gear shift thing again. Down from 2nd to 1st …
Keeping it simple …again. Magick is basically life. The Occult is everything around you and the creation of life is magick. The entire process is magick. We are magick therefore. Each with our own inimitable form of magick … some aware … those in the minority … those hapless souls who change the gearbox from automatic to manual … who turn off the autopilot … whatever … and decide to question their position in life; question their existence … and especially defy the opposing forces of the land to practice what each and every one of us have … the right to use freewill.
At times I wish for the pre-1987 intuition I had … there was no belief I can or disbelief that I can .. no cant or wont. I just did it … because when there is no conscious programming and something is ‘second nature’ like moving the fingers to type these words … it just is and works. It is done. There is nothing to stop the gears from changing … the gearbox is automatic and the process is part of the background daily running process. But once it is somehow pointed out - try it with your breathing; breathing is not usually thought about; it is just done and it does; it is second nature. But take a moment to take note of your breathing. Become aware of it … and watch how that second nature process begins to change – once it is pointed out to reiterate, it is no longer the same. The process loses its instinct. It is suddenly reliant on the conscious mind to effect the gear shift. That is when it changes … because it just does. It is not easily explained. But prior to the 1987 watershed I could look at someone and just know how they were feeling or maybe what they were going to do next. I knew their weaknesses etc. I didn’t think about it until I needed to use that faculty. When I needed to know I could. After the 1987 watershed when I began questioning the entire magick thing… and I comprehended the psychic, the clairvoyant and the medium .. it became so much harder to work it the same. I would look at someone and became suddenly AWARE I was gleaning information from them. I was conscious of the process and I was questioning it all …. Trying to rationalise and make the process understood by the logical mind. Thus my self-belief … which would cruise in 2nd and 3rd gear … would come to a dead stop in 1st gear. I’ve actually struggled in the last decade or so to overcome this critical and analytical stumbling block … I can no longer function like I did pre-1987. But in saying that I have ‘activated’ so much more of the ‘is’ since then. I’ve comprehended so much more of the blueprint behind it all. I’ve become more magickally aware without actually gaining in magickal ability at all. Nothing has been changed or lost. It is just the same as it was and it has always been. It is constant. It is just that my ‘comprehension’ of it has changed.
That is the way it is … and it is not easily explained. The unexplainable exists on a different vibration and can only be best described when on that vibration. Bringing that which exists at a faster vibration down into a slower plane … cannot be done very well. It is like trying to use a Word document, written in Windows XP, on a computer which only has an older version of Word installed. Using an XP document in a Windows 98 version of word will not work very well. It is limited by the restraints and the written programming of the older version. Thus it will not convert very well. It is the same thing when trying to explain the ‘unexplainable’ on a lower vibration to where the unexplainable can be explained. Catch my drift? Such is magick. Trying to prove it on the manifest will not always work. Expecting physical proof of something that works on a higher vibration is not always possible … to proof it … there has to be the facility to comprehend and experience that higher vibration in the entity which requires the proof. If the ‘Doubting Thomas’ entity has no comprehension or understanding of a higher vibration … it will be impossible for the magician entity to prove the working or spell on this dimension. It is necessary for the Doubting Thomas awareness to shift to the vibration where the working originates and exists … to see the proof.
But in truth I ceased caring about having to prove my own personal magick years ago. It just is and that is all that is important. My reality is all that matters to me. What works for me … what blueprint I follow is unique and inimitable to me … it may not necessarily be right for someone else. Each and every manifest entity comprises a unique signature or vibration. We are polarity beings each with a different and unique set of opposites and harmonises. A little like a computer screen; the screen having settings to change its appearance. Settings such as contrast and brightness; hue; colour balance … etc. Put a handful of the same computer’s together … the screen may look the same … but change the settings on each …. Giving each its own unique combination of settings … then you’ll see that which is reflected before you is effectively the same but different on each. That is how to view each and every one of us on the material plane. We each have our own contrast/brightness/hue/colour balance controls. Our own consciousness changes those settings to suit its own taste. We may all look the same … human beings on the outside … but our make up within is certainly not the same. Therefore the point … my magick works for me based on the settings that suit me … but those settings are not necessarily going to suit you or anyone else. The settings on my computer … the layout of the desktop, the colours, the layouts … which suit me … may not be to your liking. Thus it works with my own brand of magick … it may not be to your taste. The same can be said of everyone else’s brand of magick. Therefore those who forced their principles and their theories and their methods on me back in those early days … should not have imposed those limitations on me. It may have been right for them … but they sure were not right for me. They should have respected that and accepted me like I accepted them. If they’d done that … then the descent into chaos which I experienced would not have come into being. It was their insistence on dominion and control over me that basically shut down my self belief function … and sent me in a wildly spinning vortex down and down into the abyss …
But then I must report that it was the best thing they could have done in truth. The introduction to chaos and darkness and negative and all those painful darker human emotions that were wrapped around me due inadvertently by their wilfulness … their spell casting that I would go into that part of me if I didn’t do it their way … enabled me to understand that part of myself. That journey through the ‘darkness’ effected my true comprehension of the light … of balance and of order. In truth it enabled me to realise the logistics of opposing forces … of harmony and disharmony. I comprehended truly both sides to the same story. I now understand fully that magick is neither white magick or black magick … magick most surely just is.
Putting it another way … how can one know joy if one has not felt sorrow? How can one know truly what it means to be happy if one has not spent a time sad? If I’d been in that wondrous light of spiritual adventure all the time. Experiencing only the raptures and the joys and the toys … how could I have known that was what it was? Without sampling the despair and the sorrow and having all those toys being taken from me (by nobody but myself. Due to no other reason than strongly imbalanced emotions of either polarity blocking the toys out) I would never have known what it was ‘I have’ … I feel more complete than I ever I did pre-1987 because I have faced and conquered my ‘dark side’.
Let me make it clear … here and now … I am neither a ‘white magician’ or a ‘black magician’. I am neither white lodge or black lodge. I care NOT about that mumbo jumbo. My comprehension transcends that limitation. I do what I do at the time to effect HARMONY. My entity travels through this world leaving harmony behind it when it can. I’m not perfect or special in anyway. I still get it wrong. I still create disharmony. The effect of which is the lesson not learnt lesson repeated theory. The situation returns later so I can recognise it … to approach it different to provide the situation with the harmony it requires to assimilate or dissolve it. Effectively … I un-create the trail behind me where I pass. That to me is the real magick. Making sure I react how I am supposed to react in each and every situation I find myself in. Letting intuition … on second nature overdrive … kick in and permit me to react how the situation merits. This basically means I am angry when I should be or sad when I am meant to be. I say what is meant to be said whatever the consequence … even if it appears to be wrong at the time but feels right at the time. It is not an easy undertaking. But it is how it is meant to be. If every human entity did the same … then the world would harmonise … and this manifest plane would transform or transcend this vibration … the +1 and the -1 would become the 0 and this level of experience would cease to exist. We would all leave it behind … entering into another vibration on a higher plane to begin it all again. This goes on within our conscious lives all the time … but we are not consciously aware … in truth.
All opposing actions and reactions would harmonise … but it will not happen as long as our shadow self prevents us from realising that effect … the shadow self wishes to make this existence just ONE polarity … it wishes for us all to be sub-polarities within that single polarity … a mere part manifestation of our true selves.
But that’s another story … another subject for me to describe. It serves as part of this writing to scratch the surface of that difficult issue.
My own personal magick is the sum total of everything which IS … me … an expression of all that has been around me since the very first moment my awareness took on board the manifestation experience. It encompasses each and every different shell it has thoughts have created. This shell that I am this time … has the experience and the endurances of all that the awareness of I am I has lived and breathed within this manifest.
The magick is the ability to draw these experiences out into the current conscious mind. Manifest experiences I believe are stored within the mind … transmuted into their most basic form … part of the blueprint of the current manifest shell. Each and every mortal entity has the right to use what has been earned through those experiences. In part 2 I will go into this perhaps a little deeper ….
Matt James