Radical Forgiveness is based upon the simple premise that the 'dark' or shadow aspects of our psyche which we need to acknowledge and heal are reflected for us in those who have significant impact on our lives - be they lovers, spouse, work colleagues, children, parents, friends, mentors or so called enemies. As Tipping quite rightly pointed out: "if you spot it (a behaviour trait) in others, then you have got it. (yourself)."
The key word in the above statement is 'acknowledge'. Whenever we try to deny something we don't like by pretending it does not exist in us, we invalidate it. To invalidate means "to render having no effect", but the great irony is that as soon as we attempt to invalidate something it immediately demands attention to be validated. The reason for this is simple. Invalidation by definition is an attempt to separate out that which one wishes to invalidate from those aspects we choose to acknowledge. From the perspective of the essential 'ONENESS' pervading the Universe, separation is an illusory 'artificial' state requiring a huge amount of energy to maintain.
When we suppress something by invalidating it, we think the issue has gone away, but this is a delusion because the issue will inevitably reappear at some stage to be acknowledged and validated and this process cannot be avoided. Invalidation is a bit like trying to stop the flow of a stream; it can be achieved for a little while, but eventually the weight of water builds up and overwhelms us and continues to flow in accordance with the natural law of balance....read more...