[Daily OM]: Anyone in a long-term relationship
knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving
apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are
important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a
sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding
relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root.
Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to
turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives
that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and
healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards
one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and
nurturance of earlier times, is essential.
In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we
sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will
tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about
how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a
weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that
our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature
trees need water and care if they are to thrive.
One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication.
If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you
may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to
avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact
that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging
that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the
relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and
attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and
come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each
other. You're in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right
balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and
thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the
slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.