[Daily OM]: Every day we hear stories of
personal suffering and loss that far exceed our own. When we compare our
situations to those of people living in war-torn countries or those who
have lost their homes and livelihoods to natural disasters, it is
tempting to minimize our own experiences of suffering. We may feel that
we don't have a right to be upset about the breakup of a relationship,
for example, because at least we have food to eat and a roof over our
heads.
While awareness of the pain of others in the world can be a valuable way
to keep our own struggles in perspective, it is not a legitimate reason
to disregard our own pain. Disparaging your feelings as being less
important than other people's emotions leads to denial and repression.
Over time, an unwillingness to experience your own feelings leads to
numbness. It is as if our internal systems become clogged with our
unexpressed emotions. This in no way helps other people who are
suffering in the world. In fact, it may do just the opposite because
when we devalue our own sorrow, we become impervious to the sorrow in
others.
Fully experiencing our own hurt is the gateway to compassion toward
other human beings. Feelings of loss, abandonment, loneliness, and fear
are universal, and, in that sense, all feelings are created equal.
Regardless of what leads us to feel the way we do, our comprehension of
what it means to be human is deepened by our own experiences. Our
personal lives provide us with the material we need to become fully
conscious. If we reject our emotions because we think our experiences
are not dramatic or important enough, we are missing out on our own
humanity. We honor and value the human condition when we fully inhabit
our bodies so we can experience and feel life fully. Accepting our
emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them connects us to all human
beings. Then, when we hear the stories of other people's suffering, our
hearts can resonate with understanding and compassion -- for all of us.