Why are so many men killing themselves? And what on earth would we be doing about it if it were women dying at three or four times the male rate?
Writing this, I notice I’m numb. Why am I not outraged, demanding answers, looking into what can be done to bring the number down? Is it because I view suicide as a kind of failure, and failure makes me uncomfortable? Or is it because I’ve been conditioned to believe that men should be strong, that they should provide and protect, and that if they check out they have failed to live up to my idea of how men ought to be? I don’t think 50 years of being told men are patriarchal oppressors, and that our gender is ‘toxic’, is helping either.
Men carry the burden of performance. We are heavily invested in raising families, protecting those families and providing for them, even in these times of so-called gender equality. Most notably, it is men in their late forties who are most likely to take their own lives, according to the ONS. This is the age group most associated with divorce, relationship breakdown and job loss. Men are particularly vulnerable when there are court battles or conflicts over access to their children. The result is depression, self-hatred, a sense of failure and despair.
Younger men are not far behind. The pattern is consistent across age groups: boys and men killing themselves at three to four times the rate of women. It is not hard to conclude from these numbers that society cares rather less about the wellbeing of men and boys than it lets on. When it comes to the methods, women tend toward pills and slipping away. Men, more often, choose methods that leave no chance of being talked back from the edge....<<<Read More>>>...