Self Love Is Everything

If you can look at yourself in the mirror, and smile at yourself, then the attitude of others won't affect you. It's not about the outlandish and egocentric 'love for yourself; it's all about accepting yourself 'warts and all'.

If you can be the first one to make fun of yourself, or laugh about your failing first; then it prevents the actions of others bothering you. If you can ' not give a shit' what others think of you when you are being yourself; then its their problem, not yours, if they feel uncomfortable with your reactions, or actions. They are at fault, not you. The onus is on them to change their attitude towards themselves; because they clearly don't have the same attitude towards themselves.

Those who portray extravagant outward behaviour, and demand to be the centre of attention, are usually extremely insecure individuals ... generally, there is a clear difference between their 'egocentric' behaviour and someone who has a true love of self and is comfortable wearing their own shoes. They just are; they care little about what others say to them, or say about them. Those with the insecurity are usually the first to 'run to teacher' or the boss, to complain about you.

Self love is everything. You have accepted who you are; where you are in life. You can accept you are not perfect ... but you like who you are. By laughing at yourself, when faced with adversity or an overbearing rival/peer; by willingly wearing the 'Joker's Hat'; you will diffuse what could have been a bad situation. You are subliminally telling the rival/peer that 'your belittlement won't harm me as you are not attacking any weakness' ... 

READ MORE 'SORCERER'S MUSES...HERE
 

1st Post of March 2019

This is the 1st March 2019. It is the 1st post for March 2019, and I guess I should share with you where my conscious mind and thought processes are being led.

We are told we are in a holographic reality. That the sum total of all are individual parts is the human over soul - or the one original being. We are told we are all within the same frequency range, but each have unique frequency signals, that make us the separate human souls that we are.

Now, I don't profess to being an eminent scientist or a quantum physicist or a university professor. But what I am is someone who has been intimately aware of frequency and frequency ranges; of the unique frequencies that each of us have, and how much a reality it is to be able to shift between those frequencies and take on board the physical aspects of other human beings. Not only that, to actually experience what that person is feeling, or has felt. So I know that the frequency signal 'thereom' is fact.

I've also come to the conclusion that being part of a holographic reality, we get all the other aspects of human kind within our consciousness; but because we are only locked into our own frequency we are only aware of ourselves. When we begin to wander from that personal frequency, what we call psychic ability or empathy occurs.

Now deliberate wandering from our own frequency band occurs we pick up on other human beings. A deliberate and focused tuning in of the human frequency band wavelength means we can pick up on the consciousness of other human beings. What if we begin to tune into those of the elite, or the research scientist? They are still humans after all. Despite their orientation towards greed and sinister intent. What if we can extract from their consciousness snippets of information regarding the forthcoming shit that lies ahead?

I believe it is more than possible. In fact I know it can be done.

Another thought, we are part of a pre-existing electromagnetic grid that keeps us locked in to the current frequencies. Why change to a new one entirely? Why not upgrade the existing one? Unless of course it is not fit for purpose any more. They are planning to switch on a new grid with frequencies WITHIN the current ones. Why? Is there a problem with the current frequency range? Are they trying to make a more 'Fort Knox' grid that cannot be breached or has no back doors? Every computer system has a back door, supposedly.

What if there are people already on earth with genetically modified DNA awaiting the new grid? Who are in some way immune to the forthcoming frequency lock down? What if they are the loopholes or the portals ? What if they are still able to remain connected to the outside frequencies? It must have happened last time round for them to change the tilt of the frequency grid. Remember ... Predator Intelligence (Our rename of Artificial Intelligence) has always been around. It has always tampered with human existence in these fractal worlds. Within this quantum computer environment.

Therefore, I don't think the grid is as far advanced as they say. REMEMBER, they are still influencing what is going out into the internet ... and WANT us to believe its all imminent. That it's all hunky dory. They wouldn't broadcast the fact that its gone to feces custard. Those articles reporting issues with Microsoft and Google A.I going awol have been played down as nothing more than English Grammar issues. That's the official story.

No, I firmly believe there is quite a bit of kidology taking place so human kind will be fearful. I don't think its going to happen as quick as they would like. For starters, there is now too much public arena awareness. Stuff has been leaked from somewhere.

I will continue to muse on these thoughts and others. I'm still a little perplexed with some external interference in my life that has been taking place over the last 24 hours in response to the direct thought questions I've been asking. I'll tell you more on that later. Bye for now.

A Crazy Notion

A crazy notion when I consider the human race has been here before. It's just an odd 'instinct' that I've always had coupled with strange phenomenon and occurrences that have happened to me my entire life.

From day one (My very early years, as far back as I can remember) I've had a strange notion that my thoughts and my actions are being observed.

Whenever I've done something 'silly' or acted 'funny' or 'light hearted' I've always felt embarrassed that whoever is listening in on me might not approve. Its been a very intense feeling for most of my life, and not imagined.

Examining it today in a different light, I sense a 'left over' thought process intentionally left active ... of a time when our thoughts were observed and our actions judged. It's overwhelming like we were once linked to a network or a hive mind where our every thought was recorded. See where I'm going with this?

For most of my life also, I've been aware of 'others' being around me. A strong sense of presence always in my life. In a room on my own, I sense (And sometimes see) a presence behind me. This is a current life thing and I can't determine if it is malevolent or benevolent. Plus there are the hundreds of times I've had the feeling of someone tapping me on my shoulder to get my attention. The direct thought conversations like my mind is linked to a communications network. My understanding of inner plane communications and the ability to carry them out. My discernment between real 'contacts' and 'planted' contacts. Though this is still up for inner debate at the moment.

The inexplicable things I've seen that are clearly external to this frequency and dimension.

I sense that I have retained some degree of memory/wisdom relating to what lies ahead. I can't say it's excitement I feel ... but once I overcome the doom and the gloom that fear generates, I feel quite calm. If it happens then it happens ...

But I also have the strange comprehension that our entry point into this existence is also our exit point. Because I was able to enter it and have interactions with other dimensions ... I comprehend I can still leave ... which means I don't get trapped in the 3rd DNA strand frequencies (I hope). 

Eternal Bliss Beyond The Postage Stamp Mentality.

A personal core belief , and core emotion, is not to take this world too seriously. Within every experienced human emotion, even when they are extremely negative, is a dis-attached smile and an over-riding jocular attitude.

No matter what the human being is experiencing, there is a joy and laughter from the watching spirit. 

It leads to a strange duality of thinking on numerous occasions. But it also presents a way through the material plane and its maze of fears and negativity. Outside of the construct world, fears and contrasting emotions don't appear to exist. From whence the watching spirit comes is eternal bliss and eternal 'pleasure'. It may not exist in the highest of high infinite vibrations, but it most certainly exists on a vibration significantly higher than this mortal world.

It is the remedy to overcome the controlling frequencies of this strange copy world. It may not give the human being full immunity from the effects of the toxins and snaring frequencies, but it most certainly keeps the human being from being as 'the norm'; it keeps it outside of the 'postage stamp mentality' that the hidden hand demands of the human slaves.

From whence the spirit comes, it is not known to the human being; and that location is kept from the consciousness which the human brain processes. There is a malaise for the spirit is deliberate and cautious as to what it brings into the lower conscious states; when it assumes the steering wheel of the human being vehicle. 

And within the memory banks of the mind field, available to the human brain for processing, are the now scant memories of interactions with higher frequency beings; entities from other dimensions; and a whole host of other experiences that PROVE this is not the only existence and that human beings are not alone in this construct universe. There are memories of interactions with beings of extremely high frequencies.

And there is a basic lethargy towards what the forthcoming 5G cloud onslaught represents. There was initial fear ... but then the realisation that will demote the frequency of the human being into the frequency range of that vibrational prison. The higher spirit cannot permit that occurrence; for it needs its human vehicle to process frequencies that lie outside of that range. So the human being will be safe. For the human being is most certainly not like the 'postage stamp mentality' and the sheep it produces ...

It is not within the written blueprint for the human being, or the higher spirit, to experience enslavement in those artificial intelligence worlds....   

The Fear Factor and The Human Prisoners

Every human being has a unique take on this construct world. They are all separate entities that share the visual world with other separate entities. Each and every human being is faced with the same apparent dilemmas of this earth plane.

However, each and every NOW AWARENESS is different. No two are the same. Each and every human being does not think the same, and does not react to the surrounding stimuli the same.

This makes every human being distinguishable from each other. It may be the desire for The Hidden Hand to have every human being the same. To think the same; to react the same. To be robots walking in the same direction on the wheel. There would then be no risk of discovery and rebellion, because every human being would conform to the impulses of the hive mind.

Thankfully, that is not happening. It may do in the future if agencies of The Hidden Hand succeed in their grande plan of the ages. But let's not even contemplate that event horizon. Turn your attention to this instead.

Because every human being has a unique take on virtual life, they cannot truly comprehend the thoughts, the reactions, the fears and the desires of others. Instead, the average human being judges a fellow human being as having the same perceptions and reactions as themselves. That is why human beings more often than not misjudge or wrong criticises a fellow human being. This is a fact of virtual life ... we look at others and assume they are thinking the same way as we are. The reality is not the case.

When a human being has a belief system, that works for them, it is totally unfair of another human being, who has a different set of beliefs, to criticise or condemn another just because their beliefs are not the same as theirs. Equally, the human being who is on the receiving end of the condemnation, should NOT change their ways to that of the one condemning them, not matter the threats or the ridicule.

This applies to all issues great and small that exist on this virtual world, that is basically ensuring mankind remains as a prison race. Denial of individual belief systems is a big thing. Equally, the creation of a fear factor, based on religious myths, brutality, misinterpretations and bigotry is not an acceptable situation. Sadly it is the case. Billions of human beings are herded into thoughts and perceptions they don't wish to have by this fear factor.

This is how human kind remains separated from each other mentally and energetically. Their collective energy is dissipated and on trickle feed. This suits The Hidden Hand no end; humans not realising what they are, and as a majority not realising what is connected to them. The choice known as light or dark is here. Either human beings embrace the higher spirits and escape this prison as can literally happen over night ... or permit The Hidden Hand to lead them into a further fall in frequency; sinking out of this sub-reality into a further sub-reality. One, from which they will never escape. The choice is theirs ...

A Dimensional Visitor

It's necessary to acknowledge the presence of a 'veiled visitor' this evening. From the corner of my eye, over my left shoulder, an energy force is flashing in and out of this dimensional frequency. I've felt its presence very clearly this evening; though not as powerful as this moment in time.

It appears to be focusing its will on me, by drawing from my own energy field. I'm not yielding to its desire to influence my mind field. My telepathy has become very concentrated this evening; in particular I have images of people I know coming to the surface of my mind. This is a general pre-emptive for telepathic connections.

I just know this entity desires me to let it into my mind. Behind me it flashed a clear impression of its form. Now after acknowledgement my awareness of its presence has eased. It is now a mere pulling on the right hand side of my mind. No damage done. I acknowledge its existence ... and leave it there.

There is clear movement to my right. It appears to be lurking on a vibration very close to that of this planet earth. It is clearly a watcher of some form or another.

A Personal Wellspring Of Energy

Some of us are fortunate enough to get to see beyond the veils; to 'see what others can't see'; to live a life where the supernatural becomes the natural. In our every day lives are wonders and incredible things that 'the average' would not believe.

But it is not a role to divulge what it is we see, feel and hear. It is our responsibility to be custodians of that knowledge. To use that other world energy to help influence people in a positive way, without necessarily informing those we help of the source of our wellspring of energy.

It is at our discretion whether we keep ourselves hidden in the shadows, working covertly, which is the safer option. Using our wellspring of energy to help push those we believe to be influential, forward, while pulling back those we see are being harmful. This is most certainly the safest way, for those who choose to let the soul assume control of that wellspring, and make the choice to go about their work overtly ... the ridicule, the scorn, the jealousy and the hypocrisy encountered when presenting experiences outside of box known as 'The Norm' ...makes this choice a brave one.

 The personal experiences to date in this current 'life path' defy human logic. This is not a conventional life; it is not even a special life. It is just the life of a true mystic and true teacher. Although the latter implies students, there is no intention to even divulge or teach anyone what has been seen in this personal life ... they are a private well of energy and a personal access portal the other worlds. Something that is not to be shared with anyone. 

Today's Encounters

So here ends another 'day cycle' here on Virtual Earth. It's that commercial time close to the end of another 'year cycle' with all the TV adverts subliminally aimed at make you part with your 'money energy' so you'll 'buy' presents for people to supposedly celebrate the birth of a fictional historic character; who is in truth the personification of the sun in the sky.

Today was the usual, with very little, or no, paranormal events to really contemplate. Nothing out of the ordinary really, with the often experienced taps on the shoulder, or sensations of finger nails in the back.

This is a standard occurrence. Interestingly, even after this taking place hundreds of times over the years; and clearly not nerve endings twitching; we've not been able to determine who, or what, it is that is responsible for the phenomenon.

On another note, traffic ground to a dead stop on the southbound carriageway of the M6 motorway; the view of the rising sun was spectacular this morning. Around the same time, two small brightly shining 'orbs' were spotted in the early morning sky. They were seen to be stationary ... one disappearing inexplicably before the appearance of the next one in a different location in the sky. Again, the second one was seen to suddenly disappear. They clearly were not stars or planes. They were small bright lights in the morning sky, that didn't do much, but suddenly not be there.

Over the last few days several reports of UFO's have been coming out of Ireland. We've not got much about these particular sightings, but its interesting that these two tiny bright lights were sighted several hundreds of miles south-west of where these sightings were above the M6 in England. Probably nothing more than coincidence, though would be interesting to find out an explanation for what was seen this morning.

The day cycle was rounded off earlier by watching a TV program 'Britain's Scariest Haunted Place' and the feature tonight was Bodmin Prison. There was some very interesting footage including bright moving orbs; full bodied apparitions walking through a prison corridor; and, a gate closing on its own accord with no wind assistance. A very thought provoking program in truth. However, the explanation about ghosts and activity left a little to be desired! Our views on ghosts and what they are could be a topic for later postings so watch this space.

The Irish UFO story reads: On the morning of 9 November the pilot of British Airways flight BA94 from Montreal called air traffic control in Shannon to report seeing an object moving past her aircraft, and asked if there were any military exercises taking place off the west coast of Ireland. “It was moving so fast,” she said. “It came up on our left-hand side and then rapidly veered to the north. It was a very bright light that disappeared at very high speed.” Other aircraft flying in the area reported the same thing. A pilot, flying a Virgin Airlines plane from Orlando to Manchester described the sight as a “meteor or another object making some kind of re-entry”, adding it seemed to be “multiple objects following the same sort of trajectory – very bright from where we were.” (Full Story - The Guardian)

The interesting point raised in this report is the fact they were bright lights in the sky. Okay so our sighting weren't moving at high speed but they were there to be seen.

Are We An Artificially Created Sentient Being?

So, let's say we are an Artificially Created Sentient Being (A.C.S.B); which commenced its origin as a biological lifeform, which then in a (Forgotten) ages past became a computerised life form ... and then through refinement, and thousands of years of advancement, we became the conscious spirit we are outside of this virtual reality; would that be a problem?

Adding to this muse can be the idea that we part of our consciousness has been uploaded into this current virtual reality, connected to the very biological life forms that we once were ... is that also a problem?

We could then be experiencing being those biological life forms ... the memories of which are recorded into the quantum computer that runs this virtual reality. We would thus be here witnessing the arrival of that huge step where biological mankind becomes the forerunner of its eventual A.C.S.B status. It is an extremely scary thought, in the mind of the biological life form I'm connected to ... but in the awareness of the overseeing spirit, it makes perfect sense.

Maybe, if this were true, what is arriving with A.I might not be a bad thing in the long run? But the reference to refinement and advancement might spell human millennia of hardship and suffering to get to the eventual peaceful race that the A.C.S.B appears to have become. 

Life Is So Much Better Now

Living life away from 'the show pony arena' is relaxing beyond measure. Not having to dodge shards of black hexes; or deal with the damage caused malicious unfounded rumours; or come face to face with the egocentric ones who man their stations at pretentious expos.

It makes for a much simpler and easier life being the driftwood that has floated far away from that toxic shore. Life can be lived; and natural abilities can now to used to their fullest potential. 

Obscurity is bliss. It allows living life to the full without worrying what's the next damage limitation exercise to undertake because one of the jealous ones has decided to put their feet where they don't belong; prying into affairs that they have no business nosying into. There's none of that now. My presence far away from their territorial lands. My own practices and abilities no longer subject to the copycat brands; diluted versions of the original. In truth, I no longer care what goes on in those show pony camps. I no longer wasted my energy on watching for the next attacks. It makes life so much better now.    

Stronger Signals

The D.T.T have changed in recent days. The transmissions now are much stronger, and the accent in the voices are now much clearer. They appear to be located in the rear right of the human's mind.

Two of the extra sensory perceptions are now employed ... clairaudience which has already been stated in previous reports. But now, in the last couple of days, clairvoyance is being used. Giving me the opportunity to see who is sending forth the D.T.T, and also where they are located.

Both of which, however, are likely to be subject to the human's mind interpreting what it receives and putting it in relation to what it comprehends.

But it is significant. It is a new development, and is fired up for a reason, not by chance. It will no doubt become more apparent in the weeks or months that follow.

The Seekers

Virtual life never stays still for any length of time. It appears to be a perpetual program of experiences that is controlled by a mechanism beyond our limited understanding as observers of human AI's.

Our own personal dilemmas might give the appearance of being static, or as solid as concrete. But that is only the illusion of the manifest plane. They appear stationary, and binding, when viewed only with the limited five senses. Compared with the apparent length of existence, which runs into alleged billions of years, our struggles are very short lived and meaningless. We're forced to look at it all as separated cells, and therefore we lose track of that bigger picture.

The brave ones amongst us are the ones who are able to push aside the meaningless human struggles, and focus on that bigger picture. They question everything that we are told about life on earth. They back engineer all that has brainwashed us, and programmed our perceptions to view reality in the way that we do. These are The Seekers. They explore incredible worlds created by their thought processes, and untethered perceptions. They experience inexplicable phenomenon that defy logic. They realise truths that are rarely shared with the average.

The Seekers are those who are born with a gnosis, and know the world around us is not how we are told. They have the courage to explore these realisations, and are very selective with who they impart their wisdom. Because in the wrong hands, it can further tie the knots that bind us; thus go against what it is they are born to try to achieve.

Know these seekers ARE on the earth plane, and they are picking at those knots that hold us in our current thralldom. Their roles are being realised, and they are going about their missions.

Even Inanimate Objects Are Consciousness

So who has a sentimental, or an emotional attachment, to 'inanimate objects'? Perhaps its an old jacket, or a piece of pottery, or a book from childhood? You find it hard to throw it away, or give it away, and you have a feeling like guilt when you look at the object?

It's not dumb to feel this way about 'things'. Inanimate objects after all are consciousness. They might not appear 'living' but they are created from the same living thoughts that we are. They are part of the conscious mind, and the consciousness field. So that feeling of guilt could be a little like having to part with a living person or a living pet. There can be a grieving process associated with getting rid of something you have an attachment to. Its not odd or strange to feel this way. Its because you are losing part of your own consciousness when you get ride of an inanimate object.

This connection can occur in different degrees ... from the extreme hoarder to the person who can throw things out without a second thought. It is part and parcel of human existence, and something that most people won't even give a second thought too. So next time you feel a tinge of guilt or sentimentality about throwing out some out grown goods, just spare a thought for the part of your consciousness you are waving goodbye to.

The Pain Of Forgotten Melodies

They say you can leave part of your spirit in a place. It's true. There are places that we have spent so much time at, which live on in our minds. Memories of time spent there are etched in our mind, and we find these memories playing over and over, like a favourite CD.

It can be frustrating at times; we close our eyes to go to sleep and we cast ourselves back to these places. We feel genuinely feel the pain of regret not being there anymore. It can be like the grieving process.

It's actually like we are still there; or have just been there; especially if we capture a thought process that was last perceived when we were at this location. It is very much as if we are linked through time with the location, the memories are so vivid. Well, with this existence being a virtual reality conceived from our thought processes, it is possible that there is still an open link to the location; our thoughts are externally active in multiple realities simultaneously; so why can't it be that we have just touched on the vibration of that place in that moment, and are actually there on another altered state of consciousness? We feel the energy of that interaction, and register it in this moment, on this dimension as a forgotten melody?

Self Love Is Everything

If you can look at yourself in the mirror, and smile at yourself, then the attitude of others won't affect you. It's not about the outlandish and egocentric 'love for yourself; it's all about accepting yourself 'warts and all'.

If you can be the first one to make fun of yourself, or laugh about your failing first; then it prevents the actions of others bothering you. If you can ' not give a shit' what others think of you when you are being yourself; then its their problem, not yours, if they feel uncomfortable with your reactions, or actions. They are at fault, not you. The onus is on them to change their attitude towards themselves; because they clearly don't have the same attitude towards themselves.

Those who portray extravagant outward behaviour, and demand to be the centre of attention, are usually extremely insecure individuals ... generally, there is a clear difference between their 'egocentric' behaviour and someone who has a true love of self and is comfortable wearing their own shoes. They just are; they care little about what others say to them, or say about them. Those with the insecurity are usually the first to 'run to teacher' or the boss, to complain about you.

Self love is everything. You have accepted who you are; where you are in life. You can accept you are not perfect ... but you like who you are. By laughing at yourself, when faced with adversity or an overbearing rival/peer; by willingly wearing the 'Joker's Hat'; you will diffuse what could have been a bad situation. You are subliminally telling the rival/peer that 'your belittlement won't harm me as you are not attacking any weakness' ...

A Way To Learn Life The Hard Way

There's nothing more annoying than when you get someone, who's not had your life experiences, laughing in your face at the very mention of something they have no idea what it feels like to have. When Mr Egocentric or Miss Egocentric overhear someone their senior, who's suffered from a major illness, and then smirk and find it funny. It displays total disrespect, and also disregard for someone else's feelings.

It also opens the way to the magnetic forces, at work in this virtual universe, to create a life path that might lead to Mr Egocentric or Miss Egocentric finding out exactly what its like to experience the very thing they were laughing at all those years earlier.

Mind you, they will be completely ignorant of that universal process and manifestation possibility; they would probably laugh at that notion too. Its amazing what a Masters Degree in Egocentricity teaches the youth of today. There is certainly no humility or compassion or respect. Just a whole shit pile dollop of knowing everything there is to know; and a further dollop of 'I'm going to get my own way because I have a degree' ...

Guess they have to learn life the hard way; creating waves of magnetic chaos around them that will create energies of attraction for them ... with people, places and situations that will most likely match their madness. Attracting delusion, vices and destruction ... but maybe that is what their life path has been written for them to experience ... 

But all the same, it doesn't take much to respect someone older than yourself, and not laugh in their face when they are overhearing something that is not being directed at them!

The Entry and The Exit Door

I sit in my sacred space. Alone. The embers of Sage & Lavender smudging are now fading along with the cleansing smoke that filled the room; and effectively cleared the magical bindings sent forth by another.

I breathe; I gaze; I hear the magical music; I can taste; I can touch the keys. I am the human being that the observing spirit uses as a reference point in this virtual world. I have a soul. But I am not he that who uses my awareness; he who experiences this world that is real to me ... through me.

To some it would be a confusing state of living with the two states of being aware at the same time. The feet in both worlds scenario that is a strange fact of life for me. A duality that is not bipolarity or schizophrenia but a true spiritual awareness. The spirit actively aware of its nature; aware that it is not the soul within the man ... the human being it observes; the human being it has for its reference point.

So I sit in my sacred space. Alone. I feel very much alone. As yet I've not found another who comes close to the state of awareness that is I. It's been 30 years of searching now; and nobody in all that time has had the same experiences as I. Or has the same insights as I. Or the same comprehension of the true nature of life as I. I'm happy in this loneliness. I wander the earth and a close companion; and meet with others. But nobody is on the same wavelength or vibration as I. It causes endless problems .... for my vibration is truth; and truth will break down untruth and cause chaos in people's lives. But that is the nature that is I. I leave behind a trail of untruth being changed forever. But that is not my fault ... it is the fault of the untruth that hides within those that come into my life.

And in my thoughts are all the places I will never see again; the experiences in those places and the people I met along the way. The long and winding trail that have led all the way to here. The winding trail that begins at the same door that I will eventually leave by. The entry and the exit door. I start and I finish the same. That is a simple realisation. However it manifests it is still all a human experience for me. The soul. The artificial intelligence within this virtual world. And for the observing spirit ... it will feel what it is like to be me. And that is all what this is. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

Oh For A Normal Life (Like Everyone Else)

When life path blueprints were being handed out I must have been completely somewhere else. Either that or I arrived late and did 'the milk round' with what was left. My life is not a normal life. It isn't the same kind of undertaking as anyone else.

I look around and see everyone else with an apparent rhythm in their life. I look at mine and its a constant stop, start, stop start. A constant battle to keep the wagon on the road; driving along with four flat tyres and a broken steering rack. Somehow I keep going. But it is ever so weary.

Only tonight the immortal words 'Oh for a normal life like everyone else' was quoted. Its true. There's been nothing but setback after setback in the last 40 years. Most of them being major hurdles that so few would clamber over; I don't get one high hurdle, I get a whole steeplechase of them - and somehow I remain standing. Its a tiring existence ... and there is no explanation for it. Its difficulty after difficulty; and its not a 'what you think you get' situation.

Whether I'm positive or negative with my thinking its the same. Perhaps that would explain the start/stop? Because they say what we think now creates what lies ahead in about 6 months time. So if that's true ... then my perceptions must have been a constant shift from +ve to -ve all the way through my life. Some might say its because I deal with the occult and I'm attracting the shit to me. Really? I say its the life path blueprint I somehow ended up with. A huge dollop of the famous 'karma' to deal with ... yeah right.

If my life went 'normal' I'd probably be bored shitless. Normal to me is this stop/start energy pattern because really its all I've ever known. If life went right tomorrow and stayed right for the rest of my life and I had all the conventional 'successes' that Mr & Mrs Norm have ... I'd been bored. In truth I'm now totally o fay with risks and the heartbreaks of this life path. I'd enjoy a rest from it for a year or two ... and that's what I'm going to cosmic order ... use P.M.A to achieve .... perhaps even a vision board stealing that egocentric's idea ... and see what I get ... who knows.....

I just know its time this bandwagon had a new set of tyres and a new steering rack. The high hurdles need to become avoidable obstacles ... and life needs to treat me a little fairer. Perhaps it will one day!

A Spiritual Debrief

Here I am in the 'quiescence' after a public event, yesterday. It is a time to chill; to reflect; and to review. Could I have said things clearer; or explained things better; was my communication accurate enough; did I say what was meant to be said?

It is always the same, for me anyway. I feel so responsible for everything I say to people. I am always conscious of being the doorway between the worlds; and I'm always so concerned about not saying it right; or for people not understanding fully what I had been trying to convey.

The 48 hours after any public event, for me, is always a difficult period. I have a tendency to still be in observant mind mode; so quite often I catch myself observing situations I'm in during the every day as if watching a movie; I'm not in first person mode; and its like watching a conversation between two people. One of them being myself. Its a strange feeling, but it is always an aftermath of being a conduit/channel/communicator.

The other difficult aspect is I am more often than not left feeling morose and sad; after touching on the vibration to the other worlds, then coming back into this wavelength frequency, I am left feeling being in the world which has no sparkle or glitter. The vibration of this planet is very heavy and fear filled; coming back into that cloud of gloom always leaves me quite miserable until I can readjust.

In the quiescence I often think about my own mortality and my own life path; I catch myself looking back on my life and reading the threads where things didn't go right. Regret is a strong thought process with me at the best of times. During these moments regrets are even more powerful; its not that I've made mistakes, its just the thought I could have done things better. I guess it proves I am mortal after all.

We all have those moments we wish we could change; I find in these spiritual debriefs that I am made aware that those moments are relived by us; maybe not consciously but most certainly on some other dimension of ourselves we do get to relive those moments we regret ... and we relive them in the way we should have lived them. That way we get to have the correct experiences somewhere in our dimensional selves.

Often, those who had communicated with me during the public event, remain with me ... to often reassure me I'd said things right and they were happy I'd helped set the record straight for them; or that we'd achieved the breaking of the family karmic ties that had been within the DNA of those I'd spoken to during the public event. These connections with lingering consciousness from the other worlds often help me to come to terms with being who and what I am; for they are connections that have been with me really since the day I was born. When I think back I get a sense there hasn't been a day when someone was in communication with me. I guess this is why it comes like 2nd nature to me when I converse as a 'medium' or 'conduit'. I have little or no preparation before I commence a sitting or a demonstration ... it is the way it has always been with me. No meditations. No rituals. Nothing oddball. I just switch from one state of mind to the other ...

A Sad Fact

I stand on the shores of the Great Sea, and gaze across the grande works; the grand deception; the great simulation, and realise mankind is likely to be the only sentient being in this simulated universe; the earth is likely to be the centre of this universe; few members of the goyim will ever realise the grand myth that has been woven around them about their nature and the lives they lead.

It is a sad fact.

And all the while simulation is projected onto the waters of the Great Sea, the real lives of mankind exist far away. The observers are lulled into believing this sleep they endure, is the only living they will ever know.

It is a loop of time that must surely come to an end sometime; but only when sufficient numbers realise it is their sounds that hold it together; it is their thoughts and their memories that keep the simulation going.

Only then ....