Oh For A Normal Life (Like Everyone Else)

When life path blueprints were being handed out I must have been completely somewhere else. Either that or I arrived late and did 'the milk round' with what was left. My life is not a normal life. It isn't the same kind of undertaking as anyone else.

I look around and see everyone else with an apparent rhythm in their life. I look at mine and its a constant stop, start, stop start. A constant battle to keep the wagon on the road; driving along with four flat tyres and a broken steering rack. Somehow I keep going. But it is ever so weary.

Only tonight the immortal words 'Oh for a normal life like everyone else' was quoted. Its true. There's been nothing but setback after setback in the last 40 years. Most of them being major hurdles that so few would clamber over; I don't get one high hurdle, I get a whole steeplechase of them - and somehow I remain standing. Its a tiring existence ... and there is no explanation for it. Its difficulty after difficulty; and its not a 'what you think you get' situation.

Whether I'm positive or negative with my thinking its the same. Perhaps that would explain the start/stop? Because they say what we think now creates what lies ahead in about 6 months time. So if that's true ... then my perceptions must have been a constant shift from +ve to -ve all the way through my life. Some might say its because I deal with the occult and I'm attracting the shit to me. Really? I say its the life path blueprint I somehow ended up with. A huge dollop of the famous 'karma' to deal with ... yeah right.

If my life went 'normal' I'd probably be bored shitless. Normal to me is this stop/start energy pattern because really its all I've ever known. If life went right tomorrow and stayed right for the rest of my life and I had all the conventional 'successes' that Mr & Mrs Norm have ... I'd been bored. In truth I'm now totally o fay with risks and the heartbreaks of this life path. I'd enjoy a rest from it for a year or two ... and that's what I'm going to cosmic order ... use P.M.A to achieve .... perhaps even a vision board stealing that egocentric's idea ... and see what I get ... who knows.....

I just know its time this bandwagon had a new set of tyres and a new steering rack. The high hurdles need to become avoidable obstacles ... and life needs to treat me a little fairer. Perhaps it will one day!