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Showing posts with label The Lampooner: Humour/Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Lampooner: Humour/Satire. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 October 2026

Mummy Removed From Exhibition Over its “Lack of Consent”

 A museum has been accused of “woke madness at its most ridiculous” after removing its Egyptian mummy exhibition because it does not have “consent from the deceased individual”. The Telegraph has the story.

Visitors to the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow found signs explaining that managers had “removed human remains from this display as a mark of respect”.

The items removed include a coffin with the remains of Nekht, a priest, a mummified right hand recovered from the Valley of the Kings in Luxor, Egypt, and a mummified male head and right foot.

The Daily Mail reported that Glasgow Life, a charitable organisation funded by the SNP-led Glasgow City Council, said it planned to remove further human remains from Kelvingrove as well as from St Mungo Museum.

The move was noticed by visitor Jonny McFarlane, who took to social media after taking his daughter to the ancient Egypt exhibition.

“My daughter has a book on the ancient Egyptians and has been quite animated by it, so we took her to Kelvingrove Museum to see their mummy,” he wrote. “Except it’s no longer there. All ‘human remains’ gone with the following sign up in place of exhibits that have been there for years.”....<<<Read More>>>...

Sunday, 13 July 2025

Let me share a story with you

 So there is a football club in the East Midlands of England, a soccer club, if you’re reading from North America.

Now the manager of this club, is a bit of a maverick and he developed a style of play that no other team could compete with.

On paper they didn’t have the best players, they didn’t have the largest budget in the league, and yet no other team could get close to them.

They won five consecutive championships, five consecutive promotions, cups, tournaments, you name it, they won it.

And none of the other managers of all the other teams in the region could work out what this manager was doing to make this team such a juggernaut. A juggernaut that was literally steam rolling everyone.

And then this maverick manager did something quite incredible.

After winning his 5th championship, he took all his tactics, all his notes, all his set plays, all his analysis of the game, and he printed it out, put it in a ring binder, and handed a copy to each of the different managers in the league, so they could see exactly what he was doing, and how he had managed to beat them for the last five years.

Incredible story isn’t it? What a guy.

Now the reason it’s such an unbelievable story, is because it’s utter nonsense.

Made it up.

Because contrary to popular belief, people don’t simply hand over all their hard worked for advantages to their opponents.

In the same way they don’t hand over the list of names they are using in a historically successful blackmail operation, rendering the operation completely obsolete.

That simply doesn’t happen, so anyone that actually expected Donald Trump and the Israel controlled United States government to just hand out the names of politicians, influencers, and leaders of industry, media and entertainment, from the CIA and Mossad kompromat collection, otherwise known as ‘the Epstein client list’, was being wildly optimistic, and should probably pull the hopium needle out their forearm, before it does any real damage.

Despite the ‘greatest ally’ rhetoric, the United States prioritises the interests of a sliver of land in the Middle East over the interests of their own nation, for another reason.

And they aren’t about to give that reason up....<<<Read More>>>....

Wednesday, 26 February 2025

Evidence Of A Dictatorship: No detail too insignificant to micromanage: EU declares coffee 'dangerous' as 'ridiculous' ban mirrors pastry clampdown

 'Meddling Brussels bureaucrats!'

The European Union has declared coffee "harmful to humans" in a new regulation that bans the use of caffeine as a pesticide.

Brussels officials cited scientific evidence claiming caffeine is harmful when swallowed, in a report supporting the ban on using the substance to kill snails and slugs in vegetable patches.

The controversial ruling has sparked concerns that EU regulations could eventually target coffee consumption, a cornerstone of European daily life.

The EU report highlighted multiple health concerns associated with caffeine consumption. 

Vistisen drew parallels with other lifestyle choices, stating: "Nobody thinks smoking and whiskey are good for you, but they add pleasure to many peoples lives."

The regulation echoes a previous EU controversy over Danish pastries, where cinnamon rolls had to be reclassified as "traditional" food.

This reclassification was necessary to avoid EU limits on coumarin, a potentially toxic compound found in cinnamon.

"A few years ago, the EU wished to ban cinnamon on Danish pastries and the bakers union had to wrangle a get-out clause," Vistisen said.

"It would suit everyone much better if many of these matters were left to national competence and personal choice."...<<<Read More>>>..

Monday, 24 February 2025

A Shout Out ....

A shout out to the identity behind "Vanessa Cupelli" who took the time to post a fake message from Meta informing us that our page was due to be deleted. 

Thank you for your time and trouble undertaking this exercise.

We suspect that Vanessa Cupelli is not the name on your birth certificate. We also suspect you reside somewhere in Australia due to the time your kind post was added to our Matthew James Medium page (3.21AM GMT). It also appears to coincide with the Canberra consultations undertaken this weekend. Interestingly these consultations had not been advertised or mentioned anywhere on social media. 

We conclude you might be a PSYCHIC to perfectly time this kind post with our most recent consultations.

We also suspect what your name might really be ....  

Friday, 25 October 2024

The Journalist seems clueless when it comes to the ‘bigger picture’ surrounding the global elite; but the point remains: Was Peter Lynch Britain’s first political prisoner?

 Clearly the journalist who wrote the garbage post below has no idea of what is happening in the world. 

'Strange conspiracy theories' and 'wackadoodle theories' is perfect evidence of the journalist's lack of understanding of what is really happening in the world, brainwashed by the false journalism that is the imaginary world surrounding the journalist.

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RIP Peter Lynch: the first person to die in events linked to the summer riots. Having been sentenced to almost three years behind bars for his part in the protests, the 61-year-old grandfather died on Saturday. What a tragedy – and what a stain on the British state. For Lynch’s punishment for his role in an angry demonstration outside an asylum seeker hotel was out of all proportion to the treatment of many of those convicted of far graver offences. Doubtless he bitterly regretted his actions on August 4, when he made the very foolish decision to join an angry mob in Rotherham.

Brandishing a placard bearing strange conspiracy theories, he insulted police officers – calling them “scum” – and labelled the occupants of a migrant hotel “child killers” and “rapists”. None of this was remotely justifiable. It was stupid and nasty, and he should have known better. But did it really merit even a fraction of two years and eight months he was sentenced to serve, at His Majesty’s Pleasure?
For unlike other rioters, Lynch did not physically harm anyone; nor set anything alight; nor cause thousands of pounds worth of criminal damage. His comments were unpleasant and may have contributed to tensions, but they were just words.

While much has been made of his strange placard, there is no crime in accusing politicians of corruption, or having wackadoodle theories about the world. Moreover, unlike many of the hardened criminals currently being released to free up prison places, this man had no track record of causing trouble, still less a string of previous convictions for serious offences....<<<Read More>>>....

Monday, 8 July 2024

Creepy supercomputers run by lab-grown human BRAINS unveiled by WEF-funded scientists

 A fear narrative story line for the pantomime ... you decide if this a NASA like jack-a-nory style storyline or a truth....

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If you thought some aspects of AI’s capabilities were creepy, brace yourself for FinalSpark's new “Neuroplatform” that is run by lab-grown human brains.

The Swiss tech startup is selling access to biocomputers that use a series of small lab-grown human brains for power, which means they only need “a fraction of the energy required to power a traditional computer.”

Not surprisingly, the scientists’ work is being funded by the globalists at the World Economic Forum.

The new bioprocessing Neuroplatform is powered by these tiny brains, with as many as 16 of them working together to power it. It has already been adopted by nine institutions and is being lauded for its ability to save energy. The company boasts that 16 of these lab-created brains use a million times less power than the traditional silicon chips that power such systems.

Neuroplatform combines hardware, software and biology, and it is considered “wetware” because it involves a biological component. It relies on a setup of Multi-Electrode Arrays (MEAs) that are used to house the 3D masses of brain tissue, with each MEA holding four lab-grown brains interfaced with eight electrodes that both stimulate them and record their data processing....<<<Read More>>>...

Monday, 6 February 2023

WEF Vows to BAN ‘Dangerous’ Eggs After Study Finds They Cure COVID Naturally

Insane and senseless words from insane and senseless psychopaths. They know their time is almost up and now resort to desperate measures. 

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Eggs are suddenly more dangerous than crack or heroin, according to the global elite who say they want to ban people from consuming them for their own good.

You can shoot up street heroin and go about your day without a problem in most instances, but if you consume an egg you may find that your brain hemorrhages, your heart suddenly stops beating, or your face becomes paralyzed, according to a stunning warning issued by scientists working on behalf of the global elite.

Scientists are now warning the public that consuming eggs could cause blood clots, strokes and heart attacks.

In what appears to be another example of the global elite attempting to distract the public from the real cause of the surge in heart problems since the jab rollout, scientists now want us to believe that a nutrient found in eggs increases the risk of blood clotting.

The idea that eggs, which are a highly nutritious protein source and a staple in people’s diets around the world, could be the source of the spike in sudden cardiac arrests and strokes is ridiculous enough to be dismissed without prejudice. But when you dig a little deeper into what the scientists wants us to believe, it gets even more ridiculous.

The study conducted by the Cleveland Clinic, suggested that choline makes the blood more prone to clotting and you should stop eating eggs immediately. There is just one problem. Eggs have been consumed by almost every culture for thousands of years and nobody has noticed this before. Actually, there is another problem. Choline is sold in over-the-counter dietary supplements and is deemed an essential nutrient that is widely recommended for optimal health...<<<Read More>>>....

Saturday, 13 August 2022

Aliens can move the planets of the solar system, astronomers say

 Really? Hilarious clap trap. Everyone knows there are not really any planets ... right? This is the most ludicrous article we have ever published....

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Planetary scientist Matthew Clement of the Carnegie Institution’s Earth and Planetary Laboratory and colleagues claim that aliens can alert us to their presence by moving the planets around, reports inverse.com

Experts say that an alien civilization can organize entire solar systems of planets. They can also bombard moons and planets with asteroids to change their orbits and signify their presence, planetologists say.

According to astronomer Matthew Clement, this ambitious planetary shuffling will provide an opportunity for aliens to advertise their presence to us....<<<Read More>>>...

Wednesday, 3 August 2022

Food for Thought #486

 We hadn't posted a 'Food For Thought' for a while until we saw this immensely funny meme. Best not let the UN see this .... they might tell us to stop being naughty.