Re-Parent Your Inner Child

 [Daily OM]: What does it mean to re-parent your inner child?

Re-parenting your inner child means nurturing yourself in a different way. Every person has a part of themselves that needs love, guidance, nurturing, and boundaries. That part is our inner child. As adults, we are so used to taking care of our physical bodies, talking about our feelings, trying to figure ourselves out, and trying to figure other people out. When we do this, we are usually doing our work from our "adult place." We are so busy trying to figure things out from our adult place that we never stop to look at the other part of us that is holding onto all our hurt from when we were little.

What I've found from working with thousands of people over the years is that we all have an inner child that we forget about. It is that part of ourselves we need to learn to listen to and acknowledge in order to heal. The only way to do that is by bridging your adult and your child with love, acknowledgment, and validation. We can't heal what we don't know. By getting to know your inner child, you can then begin to heal. 

It's so important for everyone to do this work so that we can live more peacefully in the world. When we are peaceful, we are happier. When we're happier, we feel better. When we feel better, we want to do better. When we do better, we can have better relationships in all aspects of our lives. We can parent our own children better and be better role models for others. By learning to re-parent your inner child, you learn to be less reactive and more proactive in your life. You learn to hold space for others when their inner child is reacting, so you don't take things so personally. By re-parenting your inner child, you begin to understand yourself in ways you never have before. 

You know your inner child needs you when you start to feel certain things. When you don't listen, your inner child starts to act out. A non-triggered inner child is fun, joyful, and creative. A triggered inner child may have temper tantrums, call people names, feel defensive, anxious, jealous, and so on. The only person who can help your inner child is your healthy adult. Your healthy adult needs to sit for a moment and connect and tell your inner child that things are okay. Let your inner child know that you will handle the work frustrations, and it is not the responsibility of a child to handle these affairs. Your inner child can come to work with you to be creative and to bring light and joy.

Our triggers are the little things that push our buttons and remind us of the things we still need to heal. They send out the alarm bells that say, "Hey, we need to work on this because I'm still feeling bad." No one here is perfect. If we are alive, we have triggers, most likely from our childhood. The goal is to recognize them and take a timeout to acknowledge what is still hurting you. From there you can talk with your inner child to understand why he or she feels bad. Once you understand why, you can give the reassurance that he or she is safe. That is why it's called re-parenting your inner child. You're learning to re-parent that little part of you that is hurt.   

Is It Time To Pay Attention To Your Inner Child?

Have you ever wondered why you keep making the same poor choices over and over again? Or why relationships in your life suffer because of poor communication between parties? Or why you sometimes feel as though you have no control in your life?

It could be well be that your inner child is in the driver's seat, and if you've ever seen a young child's attempts to drive a car, is it no wonder your life is potentially on a crash course.

Fear, anger, and jealousy are just a few of the simple ways our inner child can sabotage us without meaning to. Addiction and other dangerous behaviors are some of the more serious issues attributed to allowing the inner child to make adult decisions.

Once you can identify whether or not your inner child is in charge, you can begin to change the behavior and patterns that are keeping you from creating the life and relationships you want and deserve, and that's what this course will help you achieve.

Our inner child is part of us--actually it is us at one point in our life. But even though we grow up physically, a part of us still remains that child. This can be good in terms of play, fun, and just looking at life with the wonder of a child. Yet when our inner child is permitted to be the driver's seat, making life decisions that children have no business making, that's an entirely different story.

Your Inner Child is actually an echo of the child you once were.

We are all individuals with our own unique history and we all are victims of our environment, life events and the significant people around us. Each one of these scenarios has influenced us and been part of our inner development.

Our inner child has kept a record of these memories, and the way they have impacted on us.

We have all made ‘decisions’ on a very deep sub-conscious level, usually relating to how we ‘should’ be and what we ‘should’ do in order to be seen as being ‘normal’ and ‘OK’, and how to be seen ‘survive’ in our families.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense that we should, at some time, revisit the experiences of the child we once were in order to find out what our own life script says about our life and the unfolding dramas we are constantly re-creating, and more often than not, repeating.

Not doing so could actually result in us constantly playing out the same un-examined scripts and dramas over and over again. However, we cannot simply change the script by talking about it, or by conscious effort alone. The script has been designed to keep us safe; more often than not in ways that now hinder us; so the inner child isn’t given up the script that easily!

In reality, for most of us, we are living our lives like a child inside an adult’s body; it’s likely that the inner child yearns for undivided attention, some understanding, care and support.

Many us may try to silence these deeper longings with alcohol or drugs; by promiscuity or gambling; by over-spending or over-eating; by self-harming; or by other ways of avoiding the deeper needs we have. These deep-rooted needs may well be needs and fears which we haven’t yet allowed ourselves to become fully aware of; or have been able to find a way to be dealt with in our adult life. (Sources: Daily Om and Life Lab Psychologies )

Treasures From Our Past

Daily OM: Deep within each of us lives the child we once were. For most of us, our inner child lies hidden beneath the layers we've put on in order to become adults. In our rush to put on grown-up clothing and live adult lives, we may have forgotten the wisdom and innocence we possessed when we were children.

In meditation, we can connect with our inner child and reclaim what we have forgotten.

You can start by finding a photo of yourself as a child to look at for a few moments. School photos often work well to help you connect with this part of you. Sit in a relaxed position, close your eyes, and start taking deep breaths. Set the intention that you are going to connect with your inner child. Wait for an image of yourself as a child to appear in your mind's eye. See your grown-up self hugging your inner child...read more>>>...