Just because an idea or way of doing
things is popular doesn't mean it's right for everyone. However, part
of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don't take
the time to determine what's right for us; we simply do what most of the
people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are
made by default, which means they aren't what we call conscious
decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don't
always take the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling
overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do
things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of
the cause, it is important that, as often as we can, we decide for
ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the
current of popular opinion.
It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many
people feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent
from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused
and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the
way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change
our habits or behavior. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it's easy
to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and
misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be
exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our
reasons.
This is where gentleness, openness, and tolerance come into play. It
helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we
communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are
making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we are tired of
talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected. Our lives
belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand
by us and support our choices, never mind what's popular.(Daily OM)