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Saturday, 8 October 2022

Interrupting The Irresistible Appeal Of The Seductive Narcissist

 People love to hate on the narcissists, and no wonder. It can feel like whiplash if we override all the warning signs and red flags and jump headfirst into those relationships, only to watch the love bombing flip on a dime to abuse and exploitation, leaving our heads spinning and our hearts feeling blindsided and crushed. It’s no wonder there are hundreds of books about how to spot narcissists and how to read the red flags of sociopathy so we can get out before the worst of the abuse leaves us at rock bottom.

That said, nobody questions the initial appeal of many people with narcissistic tendencies. Narcissistic types are often good-looking, smart, creative, talented, charismatic, personable, wealthy, confident, competent, and swoon-worthy individuals. Or in the case of narcissistic spiritual teachers and healers, they may seem to have special powers or mystical magic that can be fascinating, compelling, curiosity-inducing, impressive, and charged with positive emotions that make your heart swell, especially if that person is selling the irresistible lie of “enlightenment” as a way to make all your pain go away forever.

What’s not to love about all those appealing qualities, especially if they mimic the way you felt when a narcissistic parent love bombed you if you complied with their highly conditional “love” or gave you the feelings of specialness, lovability, and worthiness a neglectful, abusive, or unloving parent might have failed to help you install as a healthy template during childhood?

It usually feels great (at first) to be chosen by someone like that who makes you feel special, good enough, appreciated, and flattered. And who wouldn’t want to feel chosen, special, and loved by someone who others might perceive as a “catch?”...<<<Read More>>>...