That's been the problem since those halcyon days of regular Glastonbury trips. So much has changed since then, in so many ways. The bickering of the show ponies is behind me now. Their corbyantic howls are now little more than a whisper in my mind. I care not what they do, or what they say ... I only wish that mindset had awakened a year or two ago. They have never been worth the wasted energy. A distraction is all they have been. A brick wall at times, because their bitter jealousy towards me pre-empted me to waste time dealing with them; letting them into my head was a waste of space.
I wash my hands of those wasted thoughts. I can move on to where I was before .... well not quite. In truth, through serious illness and the show pony experience, I am now so much stronger than I was, and more self aware. Not a bad thing.
We can't turn back the clock to pick up what we once had. That's not how life works. Instead we must learn to adapt, by processing all that has been in this life time to date, to permit the now to be as industrious as it can be. It needs to be aware of the virtues and the vices of it's selves ... but not let those contrasts be anything more than inspirations ... that is all they are meant to be.
So here I am, 60 hours on from my last trip to Glastonbury, I'm still awaiting the recogniseable realisations, and energy surges, to kick in. To date its like a trickle feed compared to how it used to be. But then, it was a whistle stop tour this time round. I've drunk all my Red Chalice water ... and almost all the White Chalice Water I collected on Sunday. I've too much materialism to deal with ... to permit the kundalini-based energies to become overtly apparent. Its a strange thing ... but I'm not that person I was back then. He was by far more spiritual that he is now. He was more wild and more powerful with his abilities. Today he is very restrained and very conscious of his abilities. But I'm sure the opportunity will arise for me to use my 4th and 5th gear again! Throughout my time in Australia I rarely went above 2nd gear. Everytime I moved up into 3rd gear I would receive only hostility from those around me ... I let them control my path and their distraction tampered with the gear wheels so to speak.
I need to let my physical fully recover from its health ordeal of 4.5 years ago before I crank my biochemical circuitry up again. My physiology is totally different to back then ... and its perhaps my wanton disregard, back then, for the physical effects of high level & high vibrational energies that maybe caused my illness - or contributed to it. My energy levels back then were incredible high. Even in 2nd gear my vibration proves too much for people. So imagine what 4th gear must have been like back then! Every time I hit 5th gear ... well you cab imagine.
Anyway enough of this ... I must let the ancient Avalonian energies settle before I discern what the next phase will herald ....
