Re-parenting your inner child means
nurturing yourself in a different way. Every person has a part of
themselves that needs love, guidance, nurturing, and boundaries. That
part is our inner child. As adults, we are so used to taking care of our
physical bodies, talking about our feelings, trying to figure ourselves
out, and trying to figure other people out. When we do this, we are
usually doing our work from our "adult place." We are so busy trying to
figure things out from our adult place that we never stop to look at the
other part of us that is holding onto all our hurt from when we were
little.
What I've found from working with thousands of people over the years is
that we all have an inner child that we forget about. It is that part of
ourselves we need to learn to listen to and acknowledge in order to
heal. The only way to do that is by bridging your adult and your child
with love, acknowledgment, and validation. We can't heal what we don't
know. By getting to know your inner child, you can then begin to heal.
It's so important for everyone to do this work so that we can live more peacefully in the world. When we are peaceful, we are happier. When we're happier, we feel better. When we feel better, we want to do better. When we do better, we can have better relationships in all aspects of our lives. We can parent our own children better and be better role models for others. By learning to re-parent your inner child, you learn to be less reactive and more proactive in your life. You learn to hold space for others when their inner child is reacting, so you don't take things so personally. By re-parenting your inner child, you begin to understand yourself in ways you never have before.
You know your inner child needs you
when you start to feel certain things. When you don't listen, your inner
child starts to act out. A non-triggered inner child is fun, joyful,
and creative. A triggered inner child may have temper tantrums, call
people names, feel defensive, anxious, jealous, and so on. The only
person who can help your inner child is your healthy adult. Your healthy
adult needs to sit for a moment and connect and tell your inner child
that things are okay. Let your inner child know that you will handle the
work frustrations, and it is not the responsibility of a child to
handle these affairs. Your inner child can come to work with you to be
creative and to bring light and joy.
Our triggers are the little things that push our buttons and remind us of the things we still need to heal. They send out the alarm bells that say, "Hey, we need to work on this because I'm still feeling bad." No one here is perfect. If we are alive, we have triggers, most likely from our childhood. The goal is to recognize them and take a timeout to acknowledge what is still hurting you. From there you can talk with your inner child to understand why he or she feels bad. Once you understand why, you can give the reassurance that he or she is safe. That is why it's called re-parenting your inner child. You're learning to re-parent that little part of you that is hurt.
