We are raised with notions that “love” has something to do with how we express ourselves toward others. We think that when we love someone, we will compromise and make them feel better and will sacrifice ourselves and do anything for the object of our adoration. While this is true to a point, it is backwards. You can not love another until you fully embrace yourself. The notion that you must cater to the needs of others in the name of love creates internal conflict and it is really the furthest thing from love. We are taught that we must strive to be good but that implies that we are inherently bad or that there is something we must achieve or do in order to be good and loved. We set ourselves up for lives of unhappiness and Self-sacrifice feeling that love comes from an external source and to attain it, we must cater to the perceived needs of others. When we can embrace the totality of who we are, and embrace all of our moods and all of what we are, whether we like the characteristics or not, we then allow ourselves to be Self-loving. You can’t help whether you feel anger or love in any moment, and you can’t control other people and their perceptions. All you can do is surrender control and accept yourself and what you feel in any given moment, whether that feeling is of wanting to kiss someone or whether you want to kick them. You don’t have to act on it, you merely need to accept that you feel it and once you accept it, then you can change it if you desire. You can’t change something you are unwilling to see
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