If you've ever found yourself
repressing your anger and behaving in other ways to get your point
across, you may be someone who is adept at engaging in
passive-aggressive behavior. Although passive-aggressive behavior is
recognized as a psychological disorder, it also describes the behavior
that many people use to cope with confrontational situations. Such
behavior has the outward appearance of being peaceful, yet it is really
an attempt to express oneself in seemingly passive ways -- usually
without accepting responsibility for doing so. For example, someone who
doesn't want to attend an event with a partner might engage in behavior
that causes them to be late or miss the event without ever admitting to
their partner that they never wanted to go to the function at all.
Procrastination, inefficiency, stubbornness, and sullenness are some of
the many ways that anger can be expressed indirectly.
It is important not to judge ourselves when we engage in
passive-aggressive behavior. You may want to consider that you are not
owning your feelings or your expression by indirectly expressing
yourself. Perhaps you are judging your feelings and needs as wrong --
which is why you are expressing yourself indirectly. You also may be
worried that others will judge you for feeling the way that you do.
Remember that anger and every other emotion are never good or bad. They
can, however, become toxic if you don't express them in healthy and
proactive ways. When we express ourselves directly, we are more likely
to be heard by the other person. It also becomes easier for us to ask
for and get what we want.
Once we learn to be honest with ourselves about our feelings, we can
begin to directly express ourselves to others. By learning to express
ourselves directly, we prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and
resentment from cropping up in our relationships. We also learn to
communicate with others in healthy and productive ways. It is never too
late to start working on ourselves and our behaviors, just take it one
day at a time....<<<Daily OM>>>...