Solitude and Loneliness

 Some people are reluctant to spend time alone. Solitude makes them anxious and restless, and so they try to ensure that they’re always in the company of others. But other people have a completely different attitude toward solitude. Even if they enjoy the time they spend with others, they savor their moments of solitude. They find solitude therapeutic and essential to their well-being, a time to rest and reconnect themselves.

Solitude doesn’t necessarily mean loneliness. Loneliness is when we feel our separateness as human beings. We feel trapped inside our mental space, in separation from other human beings, and from a world that appears to be “out there.” (I refer to this as “ego-isolation.”) As the psychiatrist Frieda Fromm-Reichmann wrote in her seminal 1958 paper “Loneliness,” there is a threat to “self-orientation” too, since we derive our sense of self from “overt relationships with others.”1 We need contact with others to maintain our sense of identity. In loneliness, our sense of identity weakens...<<<Read More>>>...