So how do I feel right now? At this exact moment? Not deep inside ... because that never changes. Deep down inside I feel eternally calm & still. It's how I feel on the outside I ponder. The player. The dreamer. The separate self .... where the palpatations and pounding heart resides. There in the epicentre of the stress and the trauma. At that point of my awareness I am floundering. I am the tiny yacht spinning in the maelstrom. Powerless to prevent the energies that course through. Subjected to a major task. A huge lesson. Of that I am aware at that level.
But as I shed the layers and explore the underlying levels of my consciousness I know I am ok. I know it is merely an experience to be gotten through. I am apparently coping well. At this sub-surface point I refuse karma and lessons to be learnt. I merely am aware of existence as a dream. As a vibration to cruise along. Manifestations of sound interpreted by the material five senses and the resultant tapestry the reagent which we mortals are governed by.
Deeper still and I care less about the storm my separate self wanders through. It is just a game. A charade. Like a computer virtual reality experience. Somewhere my true self is attached to a computer. Its thoughts are within that inner space and me here is the result.
When I explore my very centre. When I reach beyond the concept of mind and brain and human functions; when I reach to where my awareness resides .... I always reach the same conclusions. I am not really here. There is no here at all. It is all in 'the mind'. I merely witness the outside world. The outside world is part of me as is everything out there. It is a dreamscape. A solid dream. When I 'sleep' the programmed sleep I am free to wander liquid dreams. Dreams which can be changed and merged into others.
Liquid dreams are when my awareness becomes the free radical energy it truly is within this virtual reality game. I discern there are multi levels in the game. When 'souls' 'die' they merely pass to a liquid dream level. But humans think that to be the other side. It is not. It is merely a higher level in the game. When experiencing that higher level it will very much be the same as now complete with form. However realisation will permit the awareness to wander even higher levels and also parallel 'dimensions' ...
Where was I? Yes, free radical energy ... my awareness .... how I am feeling?
I have major changes as the human to experience .... but I can cope with them and I will somehow. It is meant to be. It is not a mistake ... just the result of an unanticipated combination of choices made on the web. Choices which maybe have not been made before ...
A new script perhaps? A new permutation to explore ......
