Mr Burnham and flunkeys (numerous) flew to Antalya on Wednesday in a government aeroplane. They were met by the provincial governor, who rolled out a blue carpet.
Cue shots of Eyelashes Andy and governor Hulusi Sahin looking grim-faced (the climate is a serious matter). Eyelashes Andy strode to a gleaming limousine; the next morning found him addressing an almost empty hall.
‘My fellow leaders, your excellencies,’ began Mr Burnham. Those plural nouns were optimistic. Endless rows of seats were empty. Almost nobody had turned up but there was a knot of about ten British acolytes, including the Mayor of London, Lord Khan, in the front row. Apart from that: tumbleweed. You get more people at day three of a Lib Dem conference.
After announcing the appointment of a special representative for climate security, Mr Burnham bellowed: ‘Britain is back.’
The words echoed. Shades of that moment in the rocky Wadi Rum in Lawrence of Arabia (1962) when Peter O’Toole has no one for company except a camel.
Of the bewitching Dame Emily Thornberry MP, said to have been airfreighted to the souks of Antalya in all her dimpled glory, there was no sign. Mr Burnham’s speech was possibly too early in the day – the dame is not a morning person.
Not that the entire Cop shindig was so dozy. Mr Burnham’s speech clashed with a Greta Thunberg press conference and that was packed. Ms Thunberg told hundreds of disciples that planet Earth was ‘being killed and we know by who’.
A vicious attack, egad, on publicity-seeking prime ministers who ride gas-guzzling aeroplanes 1,900 miles to make six-minute speeches to an empty room.
Mr Burnham was the only G7 leader to bother to attend this year’s Cop. Not even Canada’s damp-as-nappies PM, Mark Carney, made the pilgrimage. For company, Mr Burnham had to settle for dignitaries from Tonga, Lebanon, the Solomon Islands and Lesotho. The prime minister of Palestine received a standing ovation for his speech. Israel-bashing always goes down well at these international knees-ups....<<<Read More>>>...
