Then we wonder where all the time has gone? Our mind plays exact memories from our past; and they hurt. We see those close around us, and wonder how they will cope if you go first? How would you cope if they went first?
You look at the world around you; and see those now much younger than yourself who are experiencing those things that you once did, for the first time. They are planning for the future ... and you realise you are in that future, the one that you once planned. It is such a strange awareness; almost surreal to see the young speculating like you did back then. Then it hits you ... you are now of the older generation!
And instead of life being perhaps 50 years ahead of you at 25 or 26, it is now a lucky 25 or 26 because you are now 50+. Looking it from a mortal perspective, it is a frightening thing. But sadly it is an accepted fact of life ....
Now, for many years I've been the lucky one. Not looking my years I am still a young looking 52. Few people believe I am as old as I am. And as a mortal being I really don't know how or why I'm still here ... with all the things that have gone wrong and all the internal bits that have been removed! But somehow I plod on day after day on this human wheel of life ... counting the days now, a little, towards the end. Imagining what it will be like beyond the veils remembering these times and these places in a life where I now can't belong. I imagine what I will perceive of this life that I still lead.
It has become almost daily thoughts; perhaps I am preparing for the end. But I have so little fear ... because I know more than most what lies beyond the veil of 'death' and I guess I am prepared. But I just try to cope with the human form suddenly growing old and the eternal being inside still feeling like the child....
