The dilemma is ongoing. Sleepless nights. Indecision. Doubt. Negative thoughts are rife in the mind of the sorcerer. This is the 11th hour. What was promised nearly two weeks ago has still to be confirmed.
There was delay. For some reason not apparent. Something being held off for another piece to come into the fore.
Frustration denies meditation. Lack of meditation denies control of emotions and stillness. A mind thinks only the worst. Still trying to remain positive knowing judgement was looming.
It arrived today. A double dilemma. The original choice plus another path. Take the other path and it splits at another fork. Choose the next fork and it splits again!
Two phone calls out of the blue from across the ditch and everything relating to the delay is now apparent. So crystal clear.
And the sorcerer's decision? Two or three more nights of waiting for the northern hemisphere to put in writing that which was offered. Then the weekend. Still no written confirmation and then its the choices from across the ditch. There is more dilemma!
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Not easy at all.
There is no peace only an impregnable wall.
Doubt and fear alive in the mind
Polarity exposure and this soul is blind
Hoping for a little peace
Urgent for release.
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I try to remain positive but there is now only turmoil inside. Feeling alone. No guidance from the outside. Realisation there is only the inside. Beyond the husk the player is silent. A hidden voice there on the periphery.
This is the hardest time to wander through. The most impossible choices to make.
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And the watchers still lurk. I see them around me. I sense them powerfully. Perhaps they give me the strength to wander on. Like a traveller I must head for a safe port in the storm. I cannot stop in the driving rain. I must drive myself forwards. It is the northern hemisphere where my heart lies. It is where I wish to be. Where my focus is. The other choices only confuse.
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