A relationship with a new romantic partner may start to seem a lot like our old relationship and the problems that we thought we had left behind. We may feel disappointed or frustrated and wonder why the same situations and people keep showing up in our lives. The truth is that the same kinds of experiences don’t keep happening to us. After all, the circumstances and the people involved are always different. We keep having the same kinds of experiences.Subconsciously, there is great value to be had in experiencing life in the same ways until we are ready to have different experiences. Perhaps we feel unworthy of happiness, or worry that we can’t get a break. Our experiences tend to reflect what we believe about life. After all, most of us don’t like to be proven wrong. We may even derive satisfaction in being right or experience a sense of safety every time we confirm to ourselves that know the way the world works. We may choose a relationship partner who is very different from our last significant other and hope that this time love will turn out differently. Yet as long as we hold whatever beliefs we have that limit the good we can experience in our relationships, we will create the same dynamic of limited happiness with any partner.
We bring ourselves and our beliefs to every situation. If we can figure out which of our beliefs are no longer serving us, we can consciously change those beliefs, make new choices, and start having new kinds of experiences that are in line with what we want in life. (In the above image can you see the greenery and spot the birdie?)
