I've had a number of near death experiences throughout my life. I've survived what should have been fatal car accidents and climbing accidents. Three years ago I died for two minutes and experienced being in two bodies at the same time. This body and an identical body that vibrates at a higher frequency.
I consider myself unique and different to everyone else, but not special in any way. I knew as a young child what my life was going to be like. I knew then it was going to be a tough ride and it has. But it was never meant to be any other than challenging. I wished to be like the natives and that is exactly what it has turned out like. I've known each time I was meant to die years before the event happened. Each time I was totally accepting I might not make it through; I know another key date is close on the horizon and dependent on whether my services are needed or not, I might not make it through the next event. I know the manner of my transition and I'm not at all concerned. It's been my life script I was aware of as a young child, that has played out exactly as I was shown.
I remember the life path being given to me like a movie script; a series of recordings played in my mind complete with thoughts, feelings, emotions, lessons to learn and understandings gained. I took it in my stride as I thought everyone else on the planet received their life script in this way as a child. I know now that is not the case. I know why.
I'm seen as odd and strange. That is the opinion of others and they are entitled to their opinions. My path was written and it has been played out to the letter. However I now have taken a pathway I've never walked along before. All experiences up to a point a few years back were repeats. Failed choices meant replaying the life. Because I did what I hadn't done before I now walk a path I cant see written. I just see the end not the joining of the dots. I have accepted this as my life but it does sadden me not to have the blind path that the average human wanders. At times I crave to be born ignorant. But that was once my life plans ... and it cannot be anymore. Which is sad as it would be fun being on the earth oblivious to what it is really all about.
I enjoy my life and my insights. I enjoy guiding and helping others but I dislike those moments when I really can't reveal all to people. I have a guideline as to what I can say and I can't say to people. Its like there is a script to follow. The effect of not following that script would be catastrophic as most people are not ready to know everything. It frustrates me when I have to pretend I don't know information and act ignorant. But if the script decrees that is the case it must be adhered to.
Such is my life and my responsibility - Matthew James
