Looking back over the years, now, I realise mine has not been a ‘normal’ life. It certainly wasn’t a ‘normal’ childhood. During those years I did not realise the ‘difference’ to my peers and friends. I took it all in my stride, surviving it all the best way I could. Even the days after the ‘visitations’ and the ‘attacks’ the previous night. I never mentioned it to anyone. The few times I mentioned the occurrences to my parents, I was told predictably I’d been having a nightmare. I had merely assumed what was happening to me was life and it was something other people were experiencing too. The claims of the ‘aliens’ that I was special and a chosen one had no significance in my childhood days. It wasn’t something of any particular note.
It’s only now when I look back and try to make sense of it all, that I see the mayhem which was part of my life; that I see the manipulation and the trauma-control in the middle of all the ‘strange’ events in my life.
What I’d taken for granted; that which I’d managed somehow to cope with ‘because it was all part and parcel of life’ was in truth not the norm. It was torture and severe endurance. You see for most of my life from the age of 5 to 18 I was badly bullied by peers and adults alike. Not my parents – I must state that categorically. I had fantastic parents who loved their ‘black sheep’ son very much. No, my parents were as supportive as they could be. But the problem was, I rarely let them in on the torture I was enduring. I kept it all to myself. It had been the way I’d been conditioned to be. I suppose it was all part of the manipulation program? Or is that paranoia?
I remember now having sporadic second sight and precognitive dreams. Something was there protecting me in truth. But only to a degree, like even the benevolence knew what I had and had not to experience? It was like it was ‘in league’ with the malevolent force which would regularly enter my bedroom in the night time hours and torment me. I can still recall the memory of one of those typical night visits. The terror is instilled in me even now. However, I am no longer fearful of the force. I’ve learnt to adapt and ‘accept it’.
I remember I would settle into bed fine. Happy in my bedroom. Snuggling under the sheets I would always drift quickly and deeply into sleep. Then, sometime later, I would always awaken with the terror of paroxysm of muscles in my body; unable to scream; unable to move; unable to wake up! Something was always there with me. An invisible terror. Often the terror would manifest itself applying pressure on my chest; grabbing my arms or legs. Other times I would eventually wake up screaming.
Often around this time; usually the night after an attack; I would lie awake in my room becoming aware of some shadowy presence in the corner of my room. The sound like a ‘helicopter’ would emanate from somewhere. These were the times I would get up out of bed and wander to my parent’s room declaring ‘a devil has come for me again’. These were the times I was told I was having a nightmare.
I know now that on these occasions I was either arriving back in my material plane ‘body’ after a manipulation or abduction which took place on another dimensional level; or I’d somehow been woken (by a benevolent force) at the moment I was due to be abducted?
These attacks and attempts on me during my childhood were not ‘imagined’ nor were they the overactive imagination of a child. They were real and they had a profound effect on me as a child. I became withdrawn and shy. I was lacking in confidence and painfully introvert. Looking back now I must attribute the attack on me with the way I was at school. The attacks are therefore indirectly, or by external design, the reason I was bullied at school. The reason why my childhood became scarred and ruined. The reason why my life became a series of traumatic episodes.
It is only now at 41 that I can finally make sense of it all. Even so, the malevolent attacks did not cease, I am still a victim of them today. But, instead of being frightened and powerless, I am extremely angry and hostile to whatever force it is that attacks me still. My reaction now is to confront the force (if it is possible) and extrapolate the intentions of that force. It is not possible to have my childhood repaired; what’s done is done. But if I can make sense of why, I can then adapt the remaining years of my life to compensate for what has taken place in my life.
Therefore, it is also part of my ‘intended plan’ to somehow connect with the obviously benevolent force which had also been embroidered in my childhood ‘hauntings’. From the age of around 5 I had been contacted by a tall, white haired and white robed being (a Nordic?). It manifested itself to me as an old man – an image I presume it understood I would be comfortable with. It never gave me its name, but it did explain to me many times I was ‘special’ and ‘one of the chosen ones’. It would often take me around the galaxies showing the sights and the places in those galaxies. It showed me worlds which were teeming with ‘alien life’. I have always grown up knowing UFO’s and aliens were real. Never once have I viewed these visitations as imagination; they too have had such a profound effect on me.
It was in my twenties when I ‘woke up’ just like the benevolent old man had predicted, that I realised this being was possibly Thoth and I was somehow linked to him in a profound way. I attribute most of my ‘clairvoyance’ to this being and have the sense I have been ‘nurtured’ throughout my life by it. I have certainly been prepared and trained to accept the malevolent forces.
It is via this force that I understand the time has come for ‘confrontation’ in the coming years. However, I do not comprehend how this confrontation is to manifest. I have no doubt it will … as the activities of the malevolent force has increased recently. Which I feel is especially significant when put in perspective of ‘alien abductions’ and climatic change around the world. Something is coming to a head but as yet I do not know what it is. Or maybe I can’t recall what it is as yet.
