Thinking back over thirty years is not the easiest of things. It is even harder when I realise there has been deliberate amnesia blocks added and my own consciousness broken into compartments by recurring trauma.
I just know an outside agency has some interest in me. Perhaps like a human to a laboratory rat. But an interest none the less.
I only have to touch the back of my right ear to remind myself of the unpleasant experiences which have plagued my life. There is a a very hard area in my ear which cannot be removed. It hasn't always been there. I recall something being put there. Something being forced into my ear by invisible forces. A monitoring device or a controlling device for sure.
Is the agency The Greys? I don't know.
Whatever always lurks around me like a shadow. Whispered telepathic promises and information have been many over the years. Predicted football scores ... information on people ... murmurs of information which have been proven correct. Something obviously earning my trust over the years. A kind of kinship or friendship. Something wishing to experience the earth through my eyes, using my sense of touch and smell. Hearing what I hear.
A benevolent connection which has never been a problem. Likelihood is this is a Pleidean. Or a mentor from some other constellation. But my childish naivety views it as a friend.
Then there are the malevolent ones. They who torment me with prodding me in bed just when they sense my mind waves going into sleep mode. They have punched me. They have strangled me and stood on my chest. Generally they have gone out of their way to scare the shit out of me. Since a young child until recently I was very fearful of them. Now? I am more curious than anything.
I have often seen something dark in the room watching me or peering over my shoulder.
Then there is the extreme fits of rage triggered by some outside force totally separate to me. Like it is in experiment or a game to see how easy or hard it is to get me to smash something up or lose my temper. My resistance has been monitored over the years.
Then there are the contrived situations in my life. Given a choice I am made to take the wrong one just to see how I react! An outside agency taking freewill away and putting me in a trancelike state when a decision is made.
These recollections I retain with ease. But take my mind back over thirty years to my time as a five of six year old I have a very faded memory of visitations. Of being taken into space on a number of occasions to many locations. I recall being told I was special or chosen and I would be a sleeper until a certain age. I was given phenomenal information which I know is stored in my consciousness for some reason. I have on occasion accessed these banks of information and have given out wisdom and knowledge which nobody has heard before. Now is this information stored for my benefit? Or is it for Grey agenda?
I can recall an old man too at the foot of my bed. A benevolent being. He was there to reassure me. Im sure of that. He was aware of the abductions taking place, was maybe part of them as I remember going through the galaxies with him ....
My life has never felt my own in truth.
I often question what I am and why have I been monitored in the way I have been? Even now ... I sense shadowy presences looming close observing me. I have had visitations many times in my life. I've had something called 'The Throng' and 'Amah' contact me. They all declare a kinship to me. I sense being linked to group souls which are not essentially human. I sense perhaps I am some type of hybrid.
But why? And for what reason? Will I ever know? Or is it all just part of an amusing game for some fifth density being to enjoy?
I am aware though of the game. I have on a number of occasions risen way beyond the human level and spent days on earth viewing everything from the perspective of it being a game.
I sense something taking place on the earth. Something major unfolding and I can't help but feel that I have to play a part in it somehow. I feel also that the last thirty years have been spent biding my time for this event. Collecting to me all the experiences I would need for this 'task'. Plus maybe being conditioned or tested to see if I am ready or worthy of the task when it comes.
One thing is clear, however, I am not meant to embark on this task alone. Hence my lucky break ten years ago. An event which had been foretold to me when I was a young child. That lucky break? Meeting my soul mate Christine. Whatever I am meant to be involved in will not be possible without the combined unconditional love of us two. Our love is a power which is part of some approaching equation ...
What it is I don't yet know. It eludes me.
However I know that the benevolent and the malevolent forces seem to have work in collaboration. Maybe they do with others too.
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If any one has any abduction experiences similar to these described here, please leave a comment on this post