'For nothing is revealed,
while a person is still under the spell of the body
rather an angel tells the soul
and the soul, the person
and that dream is from beyond
when souls leave bodies and ascend
each on its own path'
-Zohar
Despite the anticipation and the high expectations, it was all quiet on the western front during last night. No visitations and no projections of note. The OHM1 preset did not deliver as I thought it would ... as is often the case! I literally turned over on my side, scratched a few itches then fell into a deep slumber. A slumber no different to others which have been preceded by delta wave presets. I'm beginning to become sceptical of sound wave therapy techniques. These days I feel no benefit from them; though I cannot deny that last September (September 2006) it was the sound therapy magic of Phil Sterling at Astrosound which released me from my sciatica torture. His technique with sound waves resonating through a metal chair worked an absolute treat. Playing sound waves through cheap computer speakers does not appear to be the same!
Nothing revealed indeed. Even the 'angels' are silent now. Perhaps I tread where they cannot or will not go? I'm certainly on my own path, that's for sure. An inimitable one at that, one I have never found anyone else on... and that reality is very mysterious in itself. Currently my body rules the decisions, or the lower self .. its physical demands appear to lead from one blind alley to another. I am disconnected from the higher self seemingly. Well, I suppose I could be going somewhere If I'm aware of movement from one blind alley to another, then I suppose there is progress. But I have no idea where it is all leading to. I thought I did. But in recent years I've lost all indication. My compass needle swings round and round. I may as well be blind.
I'm the blind man
Aware the sun is shining
But unable to contemplate the warmth
Because I have never seen that wonder
Frustrating days. So much mental energy and cognitive processing is going into blogging. I'm determined to do this for some reason. It is unlikely to be the why which is foremost in my mind. Things are never what they seem ... it is always that which is overlooked which pops up to poke the eye ... Mysterious motion has been set through an unknown course in this virtual reality. I'm on the periphery seeing all the events, reporting here on the ones which I seem to have an intuitive concern for. I'm building up a library of research on items of the occult and it does appear rather aimless at times. There does seem to be a peripheral influence at work too, reminding me of notions and themes when I lack the inspiration. But I doubt it is an alien influence more like my own higher consciousness perhaps ... the notion of alien interference in my own life now seems so unreal. I cannot dismiss it as I know there have been times in my life where it has been the only explanation for what has taken place. But in times like now ... I brush it all aside. I am normal like everyone else. Powerless in these days. All traces of mysticism and inspiration seemingly deserting me. Feeling empty inside. Impatient for change. Willing my perception of thoughts to bend this reality at the speed I wish it to be. Life feeling so ordinary and mundane at this time I naturally cast my thoughts to those halcyon days when I did do professional readings and demonstrations. When more was happening. There was never times as consistent as the present when nothing happened ... was there? I cannot recall them. Oh well ... there must have been.
And the point of all this?
To remember
Lest I forget
Lest I find footprints in the sand
And think they were made by someone else
I wonder if my way is a spiritual path at all? If I have learnt anything at all in the last few years. Since my voluntary exile from the spiritual development movement I have been unable to judge my own progress. Knowing it not may mean it is taking place in the absence of being aware ... or something like that. I gaze across the tapestry before me ... the impression I see of my life ahead and see only a blank white canvas. I try to add the trees and the mountains which are the adventures ahead. But I only see crops of frost bitten grasses remaining. My own psychology is jaded and wounded. I need inspiration of an immense magnitude to occur. I wonder if I ask for it ... if it would come If anything out there hears? I fear my own reality has been crafted by my most recent philosophy of this world being my own mind. A realm where I am truly alone ... without angels or guides or anything but manifestations of my own mind. Ok so I'm linked to a main frame image which all of us are ... but I'm still alone ... thus I appear to have created this reality spiritually and now have been left alone in this desert ...
I need to change this reality and quickly ....
Glastonbury Abbey
Original Artwork by Matthew James
