Search A Light In The Darkness

Saturday 4 November 2006

Ebb And Flowing Belief

4th November 2006

My belief is essentially Pagan. Or 'Old Path'. Or whatever other name a non-conventional, non-conformist Mystical path is.

My path just ... is ...

I choose not to follow a pigeon hole 'New Age' path. I encompass all aspects of existence. Of life. If anything ... however ... I have the overwhelming awareness of existing within a 'hologram' or a dream ... a virtual reality in which I am merely ... an extension of something or someone else.




I am not truly who I am within here. I am a puppet. Or a dreamer's doll. Much like being a character within a PC game of Dungeons and Dragons. I have the attributes, desires and driving force which has been pre-programmed by a player of the game.

This world seems so real. With its misery and its fears and its rules ... but then ... when I gaze within myself ...

I know it is an illusion.

It is a virtual reality. A perfect holographic replica of somewhere else. Except here ... it remains in a rigid mould.

Now ... this may seem fantastic. But I perceive all which I see in this hologram as 'memories' ... replicas of real images from a different world which have been recreated into this software program.

Bizarre ... yes ...

But only to those who are still trapped in the rapture that this is real. However, for me ... I've been nurtured since a child to think differently ... I have wandered outside of the parameters of the program .... and seen a little more than perhaps the controllers of the software would wish me to see.

Thus ... I have not got away scot free or am totally safe as a free radical to shine in this way. I sense that life/fate has some kind of awareness or 'tab' on the likes of me ... and through sub-conscious manipulation I am kept suppressed or anchored in this hellhole.

I once considered myself paranoid or mad with this notion.

I'd never come across anyone else with the same philosophy or outlook. I'd never come across anyone with the same energy levels as me. I never read these notions in books. But I just KNEW that the ebbing and flowing of my life and my confidence was due to an outside force.

* An outside force which could make me lose my temper at any moment which resulted in my having a blackout.

* An outside force which would influence my decision making and force me to be irrational in my choice thus ensuring the direction I took was the wrong one.

* An outside force which rendered me almost a cripple with the sciatica I've been blighted with for the past five years. During this time my skill of meditation and controlled distant viewing and far travelling between realms have been lost.

I'm aware ... and I was beginning to believe the rapture which was developing within me that I was delusional. People would reinforce this at every opportunity.

It was then ... only recently ... I've been guided by a higher force ('from beyond the spirit world') which has put me in touch with other souls who perceive the same. Souls whose recognition in scientific fields makes their findings acceptable. Souls who also perceive this realm as a hologram and a dream ....